prologue

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ELLIE

ellie - seven years old

I closed my eyes tightly, hoping that the fighting would stop. The faint raindrops and loud lightning from outside taunted me more. I glanced at the shadows underneath my bedroom door, the loud screams and sobs coming from the kitchen startled me.

"Where were you last night, Jared? Out with women again? At a club? Getting high and drunk again? Let me remind you that you have a daughter that you need to raise!"

"She isn't my fucking daughter, Liz!"

"Yes she is! And you are going to raise her!"

"I'm done with your shit Liz! She isn't my daughter and you know it! I don't fucking love her. I'll never love her."

A tear slipped down my cheek. And soon I began to sob silently. My Father denying that I am his child couldn't hurt me more than I already felt. A loud slam from a door startled me and soon my Mother came barging in my room. Her eyes were swollen and red from all the crying, her hair was a mess and she held a beer bottle in her hand.

She kneeled down and kissed my forehead as she caressed my cheek, "Don't cry, Ellie. It'll be okay. We'll be okay. I love you, don't ever forget that." She whispered. Her hazel eyes were filled with pain and heartbreak, and it broke me to see my Mother like that.

"I love you too Mommy." I replied. I reached in to hug my Mother, my sad broken mother. I hugged her tightly, feeling so sad but soon my sadness turned into anger. Anger built inside me, causing me to hate my Father. The man that declared that I wasn't his daughter, so I declared that he wasn't my Father.

The next few years I grew up with my Mother, up till I was fourteen. I soon learned that my Mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer in the lungs. I stood by the bed as I watched my Mother smile. Her beautiful smile.

Tears began to slip down my cheeks and before I knew it, the warm hand I held was no longer held on. I wished it wasn't true. That a miracle would happen. A miracle that could bring my Mother back to life. A life that was filled with happiness and not pain and neglect.

I stood by my Mother, crying in pain of her death, yet I knew part of me was okay. My Mother's words came running through my mind,

"If I die, don't stay sad."

-"Why?"

"Because, when I die, I'll be a dove. And i'll watch over you. I'll always be with you. So promise me Ellie, that you lead a life of happiness and love. Promise me that you remember these words, that you won't be sad."

-"I promise."

The thought of my Mother reincarnating into a dove comforted me. I wiped my tears away and hugged my Mother goodbye, goodbye to the last time I'll ever hold her, or hug her. The last time I'll ever be with her.

Goodbye, Mom.

Goodbye, Mom

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