Forget Me Nots

There were only two things in your life that could cause this immense sadness burrowing in the bottom of your stomach, restless and oh-so-cruel.

The first was old news: a timeless torture, a thing of the past, a mangy demon that inked your very own skin and chose to haunt you on your darkest days. And perhaps you ought to get over the fact that you'd hardly meet your soulmate–but it didn't look like you would anytime soon.

It was nice to meet you.

You scratched at your wrist with ferocity–dug your nails deep into the delicate skin and begged your body to forgive you of past-life crimes and karma and whatever else could have caused you to have such bad luck, such bad fortune. Forgive me and gift me words of love and words of kindness.

And the universe said no.

But, that's old news.

The second thing that had your mind wheeling and your body aching was sitting right in front of you, staring blankly out a very sunny window and admiring a hummingbird by the feeder a few feet away from the glass. She was a shell of the woman you once knew–the woman that once knew you–and yet, she still looked so much like herself.

"Mom? Did you hear me?" you mumbled, shuffling your feet where they rested so heavily on the floor below.

She was moody today, which was awfully inconvenient for you as a visitor. You loved your mom to death, honestly, but it only made things harder. Much harder.

"Were you talking to me?" she responded loftily, disinterest clear in her drawl. Her gaze never dragged from the tiny blue bird gulping down sugar-sweet water droplets, and that drove you mad.

You glanced at your lap where your hands fidgeted anxiously and said, "Yeah. I was telling you how Krista got engaged." You heaved a deep breath and shook your head when you found she was still in front of you, daydreaming in a faraway place. "Mom."

"What," she snapped.

You pinned her with an impatient glare and repeated, "Krista is getting married. She just got engaged to Mark."

Your mom finally twisted her head to you with an irritated cock in her brow. "And why do I care about this 'Krista'?"

Your wince was a reflex, cause it just hurt so bad every single time. "Momma, she's your niece. Barb's daughter?"

"Don't know her. Don't know either of them," she replied airily, rolling her shoulders back and frowning bitterly when she realized her hummingbird had drifted off. "I'm terribly lethargic. I think it's time to rest," she concluded, searching for her nurse. "Fetch Trinity for me, would you?"

You bit your lip and nodded, rising to your feet on shaky legs and stumbling over to Trinity, who was watching from the doorway of the visiting center with a forlorn expression. "She's ready," you shrugged, jabbing a thumb over your shoulder. She sighed with a frown and trudged over to your mother, who was still cemented to her wheelchair with a very cranky mug. You lingered by the doorway, a sour taste in your mouth, as you wondered just how you were supposed to Krista that there wasn't a chance your mom could come to this wedding.

"(Y/N)?" Trinity murmured tentatively from beside you, patting a warm hand on your shoulder. "You okay, baby?"

You swallowed hard and nodded where you stared at your shoes. "Yeah, no, yeah, I'm good. I'm just- She's talking like the fucking queen of England again. 'I'm terribly lethargic, I think it's time to rest,'" you mimicked, your face scrunching up in pain. "It's just- so fucked up that she can act just like Barb but not even know her."