First and Last Mistake

CHAPTER II

I was in my senior high when I had my first romantic relationship ever. I was 18, young and free. I was one of those popular girls in campus.

Active kasi ako sa mga school activities at programs. It was a school election when I met Lorenzo Villafuerte. Naging kalaban ko sya sa pagiging president and I won. Eversince that day hindi na nya ako tinigilan. Hanggang sa huli nainlove na rin ako sakanya.

He used to tell me how pretty I am. He used to be insecure and overprotective boyfriend, which I find sweet. I don't realized how I look but even I already have boyfriend in college ay marami pa ring nagpaparamdam na may gusto sakin. Ang iba ay talagang umaamin.

I never cut my hair short. I have this long straight silky black hair. Umaabot ito hanggang sa bewang ko. I'm always proud of my hair. They say I have brown eyes that looks like yellowish when I'm exposed to sunlight. Enzo used to tell me how my eyes were so unique and lovely.

Sabi nya ito raw ang pinakaasset ko among all my beautiful features and traits. And yet nagawa pa rin nyang paiyakin ang tulad ko. I have long lashes dahil sa genes, I have full lips and dimples on both the corner of my lower lips. Whenever I make faces, laugh or smile it's visible.

Yung line ni Liza Soberano sa 'My Ex and Why's' na "Am I not enough? Pangit ba ako? Pangit ba katawan ko? Kapalit-palit ba ako?" natanong ko rin sa sarili ko.

I tried to be the most understanding partner for him. My friends used to tell me I'm too good to be true daw. Kaya hindi ko maisip san ba ako nagkulang.

Parang sobrang dali lang sakanya itapon yun pitong taon naming pinagsamahan. We planned our future together. He even proposed to me and planning our wedding soon.  Nawala na lang lahat.

Enzo is working in a small web developing company. Dapat pareho kami ng pinapasukan kaya lang hindi sya natanggap. But I'm proud of him no matter what.

Kahit matagal na kami magkarelasyon ay hindi pa rin kami nagsasama sa iisang bahay. Nakatira si Enzo sa kanyang condo samantalang ako naman ay nakatira pa rin sa bahay namin kahit ako na lang mag-isa dun. He used to ask me to move in with him pero hindi ko pa rin talaga kayang bitawan yun bahay namin. Isa pa malayo yun condo nya sa workplace ko.

I visited him once on a weekend dahil sinabi nya sakin na may sakit daw sya. I'm supposed to have a company outing that day. But I decided not to come. Aalagaan ko na lang si Enzo dahil pakiramdam ko ay nagtatampo na rin ito dahil sa pagiging busy ko lately. Lahat na ng trabaho ay ibinigay sakin.

Pumunta ako sa condo nito at hindi ko sinabi sakanya. Mas sweet kasi kung isusurprise ko sya. Alam ko naman ang pincode ng pinto nito kaya nakakapunta ako kahit wala sya.

Dinalhan ko pa sya ng mga gamot at paborito nyang drinks. As I went inside napansin ko agad ang nakakalat nitong damit sa sahig. I could hear the loud noise from the television.

It seems there were trail of clothes lying on the floor. Sinundan ko ito. At doon pa lang kinabahan na ako. Dahil hindi lang damit nya ang nakita ko.

I also saw a red dress and underwear. I saw on the sofa. He is on the top of a girl I've seen before. He's making this animalistic sound that gave shivers to my spine. They were both naked. Nakatalikod ito sakin kaya ang babae ang unang nakakita sakin.

"Enzo! Enzo!" tinapik nito ang balikat ni Enzo pero hindi ito natinag at pinagpatuloy ang ginagawa.

I don't know how should I feel. I fee sick. I feel disgusted. I want to throw up. I want to scream. I could feel an unfamiliar heat rising up to my heat, to my eyes to my fingertips.

"How could you!!!"

Saka lamang ito napalingon sakin. Gulat na gulat at hindi alam kung paano tatakpan ang sarili.

"B-babe...."

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang naging reaction nito. Dahil agad akong tumalikod at nagwalk out. I can't believe it. Sana isang masamang bangungot lang ito.

Dumiretso ako sa elevator. And as I walked inside, unti-unting nagkakaroon ng kahulugan ang lahat. My head keeps chanting "kaya pala, kaya pala". Parang nagkaron ng reasons lahat ng mga hinala ng mga kaibigan ko na sya namang pinagtatakpan ko.

Sobrang sakit. Umaagos na yun luha ko pero di ako nag abalang punasan yon. Just before the elevator door close, nakita ko pa itong nagmamadaling isinusuot ang tshirt.

"Babe! Wait!" he tried to get on the elevator pero nagsara na ito.

I don't want to be lock down on an elevator with him and confront him. I walked as fast as I can out of the elevator nang makarating ito sa ground floor. I know he's just right behind.

Palabas na ako ng building nang abutan ako ni Enzo. Hingal na hingal ito at malamang ginamit nito ang emergency exit. Nasa 5th floor lang naman ang unit nito.

"Wait! Babe! Let me explain!" hinila nito ang braso ko.

Nang lumingon ako sakanya ay agad ko itong sinuntok. I could feel the pain in my knuckles when it hit his right jaw. Gusto kong dumaing pero mas masakit yun puso ko. Mas masakit yun ginawa nya sakin.

"Explain?..." my voice quiver.

"EXPLAIN WHAT ENZO!? ANONG IEEXPLAIN MO DUN SA NAKITA KO? SIGE NGA!!!"

Hindi ko na napigilan tumaas yun boses ko. Napapansin na rin kami ng ilang dumadaan. But I don't freaking care.

"Babe..." he tried to touch me and trying to calm me down.

"Sige nga! Sasabihin mo na hindi mo sinasadya? Na aksidente lang lahat? Ano yun nadapa ka sakanya ng hubo't hubad? At nagkataon na hubo't hubad din sya?! You're fucking with another girl behind my back! You're a fucking cheater!!!"

I slapped him one more time pero hindi ito natinag. His eyes were begging but I don't feel mercy on him. I feel disgusted. I could sense the attention we are getting from people passing by. Akala siguro nila eksena sa pelikula.

"Kisha....I'm sorry."

"Sorry?? Since when you're sorry? Since when you've been cheating on me!?"

Natahimik ito at hindi makatingin sakin. I knew it. That's why the face of that girl looks familiar. I saw that girl before coming out of this building. I saw her coming out of his office.

Some of my friends even told me they saw him going out with a girl. I denied it and even accused them of lying. Nagkamali ako. Antagal ko na nagbulag bulagan. Thinking he can never do that to me.

"Why Enzo?! Why did you do this?? What have I done? This isn't you! This isn't us." and there I break down in front of him, in front of people I don't know.

I cried river of tears. I slumped to the ground. I could feel like I'm being choke. Parang may mabigat na nakadagan sa dibdib ko. Hindi ko maipaliwanag yun sakit.

"If you no longer love me Enzo you should have said so. Hindi yung ganito"

"Believe me I still love you Kisha"

"You love me? Then how could you do this!!! Why did you cheat on me?! I don't understand Enzo. I gave you my everything pero hindi pa rin ako sapat. I fucking hate you! Don't you ever fucking see me again!!"

And with that I walk out on him. This time, hindi na nya ako sinundan. Pinara ko ang unang taxi na dumaan. I harshly wipe my tears away.

I can't forgive him. There's no reason to forgive his deeds. I should have listen to my friends. Ang tanga tanga ko.

I hate him and I hate myself more for trusting him. I want to die that day. I'm lost and I don't even know where to go, how to start..

I cried myself to sleep, thinking how much I made myself a fool. How much time I have wasted. Cheating is not a mistake, it's his choice. He choose to hurt me...

Sobrang sakit lang na gusto ko na mawala na parang bula. Hindi sapat yun iniiyak ko. Pano na? Pano na ako??

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kaway kaway sa mga naloko jan. ! 🙋
I was really crying writing this.

Anyway. I'll keep working on this. 😘 and try to get special chapters too from my old stories. Thanks!!! Keep the love and votes coming.