A Heart Gone Cold

Chapter 1

I drive to school, not wearing anything special. Just an old sweatshirt and skinny jeans with sneakers. Its not like I need to impress anyone anymore.

I feel tears come to my eyes. That happened a week ago but it feels like it happens an hour ago.

I miss Aiden. Even after what he did, I miss him like heck.

I don't miss Payton at all, that backstabbing bitch. I can't believe she would do that to me, I thought she was my best friend.

I sigh and walk through the school doors, preparing for another day of hell.

I put my stuff in my locker, then head to my home room. Luckily Aiden and Payton aren't in this class.

I sit through the classes, not really paying very much attention.

Lunch was hell. As always. Payton glaring at me and Aiden giving me sympathetic looks. As if he cares. He doesn't. I've seen how he is with her, even if he knows I'm there.

But I still love him. I can't help it.

"Carter!" I see a hand snap in front of my face.

"What?" I ask, sitting up strait in my chair, to see my teacher, Mrs. Davis.

"You've seemed out of it for a while." She says. "I just had everyone else find partners and you haven't moved a muscle."

I didn't even know I was in class! Gosh I'm seriously out of it.

"Sorry." I mutter.

"Here's a pass." She says, smiling kindly. "I suggest you go see the councilor."

I nod weakly and take the pass, walking numbly to the councilors office. I hand the secretary the note.

"Just walk into the office and Miss Ellis will be right with you." She tells me.

"Thanks." I say emotionlessly, walking towards the office. It was actually pretty nice. It was very homey, and made you feel comfortable. But I guess that a councilor's office would have to be cozy.

"Hello Carter." Miss Ellis says, walking in the room. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Some hot tea would be nice, thanks." I say quietly.

"Ok sweetie, I'll be right back." She smiles at me and walks off again. She comes back a minute later holding a steaming mug of tea. "Hear you go." She says, handing it to me.

"Thanks."

"Careful, it's a bit hot." She warns.

"Really." I say, my old sarcastic self coming back for a minute. "I thought it was cold."

Miss Elliot laughs. "Oh, and by the way, please call me Ali."

"Sure, Ali." I smile.

"So, care to tell me why you seem to be out of it lately?" She asks.

I sigh. This lady is so damn easy to talk to. "My boyfriend Aiden was cheating on me with my best friend Payton. I walked in on them fucking each other at a party. It broke my heart. I just can't believe that they would do that to me! I thought I could trust them. I loved him so much, and now to make it worse they're all over each other all the time. It hurts me so much to see that. I want it to end. I just want it all to stop." By now I'm completely bawling my eyes out, and Ali is sitting next to me with her arm around me.

"Sweetie, it will end. You just have to wait it through. In time, you'll feel better. You may not be completely healed, but you'll feel better. Please just wait. Don't try to end it by ending your life. I would hate to see such a sweet girl die because of some stupid people's idiocy. I went through something similar to this when I was your age. That man broker heart, I thought I would never be able to love again. I shut the whole world out. I was broken. But look at me now. I'm happy." She gives me an encouraging nudge, even though I can see the tears in her eyes. " I'm helping teens who are broken, and I love it."

I give her a weak smile. "How you felt back then is me right now."

"I know." She sighs. "I know..."

I take a small sip of my tea, savoring the sweet flavor.

"This means a lot, Ali. Thanks for crying with me." I laugh a little, but it doesn't last long.

"Anytime, sweetie."Ali replies. "Whenever you need to talk to someone, just stop by. I'll tell your teachers that you may leave class and see me whenever you need to."

"Thank you so much." I say, hugging her tighter.

"The school day is done." She tells me. "You should go."

"Yeah." I sigh. "I'll probably see you tomorrow."

"Bye sweetie." She says as I walk out of the office and outside towards my car.

I step outside, loving the crisp feel of the autumn air. I take a deep breath, loving the way the air feels in my lungs.

"Hey Carter." Oh great. Here comes the devil.

"What do you want, Payton?" I snap.

"Did you hear that Aiden and I are going out for a trip this weekend?" She smiles at me, knowing that she's hurting me. But I don't let my fear show. She can't win. "Just the two of us?" She smirks.

I force a smile. "Be safe." I say sweetly. Gosh this hurts. It hurts so bad.

Her smile flickers for a second. "Bitch, we will."

"Good. I would hate to see some of your children running around town. As if we needed any more whores around here." I reply, acting totally cool, but really it's killing me seeing them like this and knowing what they do to each other, and knowing that neither of them give a damn about how I feel. Like I was never worth anything.

Payton's about to slap me, when Aiden comes over and wraps his arms around her waist. "Babe, let's go." The bastard I cant help but love murmurs into her neck.

I've had enough. I walk away without even looking at him, without saying a word. This hurts too much. I'm glad the day is done. I quickly get into my car, and drive home, feeling sick. As soon as I'm home, I run upstairs, and just realize that I've been crying. I wonder how long I have been. I wonder if Aiden saw me crying. I wonder if he would even care.

Probably not. He probably never did.

I finish up crying, and then once again say my promise to myself.

I will never fall in love again.

It's not worth it.

Why fall in love, when you're just going to be hurting in the end?

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Ok.... This took a while.... I thought that Stella was writing this chapter. Whooooooops.

Hehe. Anywhore, tell me what you think? If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them. :)

BYYYE!!!!

Hehe.

-Abby