Bringing Up the Past

Pushing Back

I lay on my back on the Joker's huge bed and hold my eyes closed. The world is spinning as I clutch the scarlet sheets with both hands and gasp for breath. My chest is heaving, my heart is racing, and my throat is dry. I squeeze my eyes tighter and gulp in deep breaths, letting them out slowly in a desperate attempt to slow my heart rate. Nothing else exists in the world. There is only the pounding of my heart in my ears and the satin fabric gripped in my fists.

Someone lays a hand on my leg so unexpectedly that I nearly jump out of my skin. "You okay, baby?" a man's voice asks with an amused tone. I open my eyes and find my own face staring back at me from the ceiling. My face is flush, my eyes are wide, and my hair is a mess. For a moment, my brain doesn't fully register what's going on. I stare at my reflection until movement by my feet catches my attention.

My eyes dart to that part of the mirrored image and I catch a glimpse of the Joker's bright green hair as he crawls onto the bed. Turning my head to actually watch him rather than his reflection, I give him a nod and a big smile.

"I'm okay," I tell him quietly. He scowls playfully. "Just okay?" he asks with a small grin. I roll my eyes and reach behind my head for a pillow. Jay deliberately reaches across me, leaning his carved, tattooed chest very close to my face. My breath catches in my throat and the only thought that doesn't fall out of my mind is how badly I want to run my tongue over those tattoos. He grabs a pillow and hands it to me with a wink before returning to his spot laying on his side next to me.

"Not just okay. I'm great," I say, stuffing the pillow under my head. Jay scoffs. "'I'm great,' is all she says." He props his elbow on the bed and rests his head on his hand. "What would you like me to say instead, Jay?" I ask, rolling onto my side to face him.

The Joker scowls at me for a second then flops dramatically onto his back with an exaggerated sigh. "Oh, I don't know," he says, waving a hand through the air in a pseudo-shrug. "How about 'Oh, Jay, you're the best! You know just how to get me off! No one knows me like you do!'"

I press the side of my fist into my lips as I try to stifle my sudden fit of giggles. "I have never said anything like that!" I laugh, swinging a hand at his shoulder. Jay tucks his hands behind his head and grins at me in the mirror above his bed. "I know," he says with a smug wink. "It's usually 'Oh God! Oh God! Jay! Just like that! Don't stop! Harder, Jay, harder! Oh fuck!'"

I sit up quickly and straddle his hips on my knees. The Joker's hands curl around my waist as he grins smugly up at me. Bracing my hands flat against the mattress on either side of his head, I lean down and smirk at him. "This from the guy who says 'I'm gonna cum' about a hundred times?"

Jay tries to look affronted and barely manages to hold back a grin. "Excuse you!" he says in an attempt at a scolding tone. "The most I've ever said that is three or four times." Now it's my turn to grin smugly. I sit back on my heels and cross my arms over my chest. "That's because I can usually get you off three or four times," I say triumphantly.

The Joker pushes himself up off the mattress and throws his arms around me. He squeezes me tight for a second then slackens. His eyes look into mine as he holds me in his lap. "Only you," he whispers.

I can feel the surprise wash across my face. "Really?!" I say, stunned. Jay nods. "Yeah. With everybody else it's always just one and done." He grins again. "I may be the Joker, but even I'm still human. I can't do that with everybody."

I shake my head and roll my eyes. A smile spreads over my lips as I wrap my legs around his waist. "Then I must be really special," I say softly. "Maybe," he whispers. His hands slide behind my head and his fingers push into my hair as we both lean forward into the kiss. The press of our lips is tender, gentle. My heart flutters and I can feel myself start to melt. I missed him so much it hurt and now that I'm wrapped in his arms again, I never want to let him go.