Randy Shady

7 years old

To day it's my birthday, I'm 7 years old. LoL.
My dad bought me M&M's box, hey they are tasty, I like 'em.

Today dad is at police station fixing some things with the cops, cos on 2000 my dad got sentenced by being holding a hidden gun on a quarrel in which the last 2 summers in the suburban of a nightclub from Detroit.

He confessed of aim to a man with a unloaded gun because he saw how my step mum were cheating on him and that hurt him so much, he saw red, he couldn't control it. And now he regret it. He told me.

He didn't meant to aim the man and scare him that way. I saw my dad crying a lot that night. He really felt in love with her and she just cheated on him.

*13:00* Hey dad stills at police station or wtf? C'mon he might be coming soon...
I'm hungry, I ate all the M&m's he gave to me. I miss him, daddy when you will be back?? *playing videogames*.

*13:30* [Slim Shady it's already at home, he is hidding something behind his back].

Slim: PRINCESSS!!! I'M HOME BABY GIRL!
Randy: DAAADD I'M COMING. *Running downstairs to hug daddy*
Randy:-- *touch the box* Wh- What's that??
Slim: It's... Um... Close your eyes, I'll guide you to Kitchen.
Randy: A'ight. *close my eyes and follows dad*

[Slim Shady gives him a M&Ms Cake and another present]

Slim:C'mon babe, open tha eyes.

Randy:*opening eyes* MORE M&M'S? Daaad??? C'mon -- Wait what! What what what!!?? It's that a GREEN DAY CD!? Damn! Dad I love you!! *hugs* You are the best, Dad.

Slim: Yeah It's Green Day's Warning CD as you see. I found your Facebook and I saw you follow Green Day and I saw you are a huge fan, so I just wanted to be original and give you the best present.

Randy: Dad that's so sweet!

Slim Shady: Well don't be too close; Hey this guy, um, Billie Joe Armstrong, isn't he? Well he is a huge fan of me and I think I can talk to Reprise Records and plan a meeting with Billie. What do you think?

Randy: Say no more..!!! *Amazed* I think this is the best birthday ever.

Well it is but.. Um.. I think I need to tell him how I feel inside.. Um.. I don't know how to come out to him. I think I need to get out of this closet.

Randy: Hey dad, need to tell ya how I am feeling... And uh.. I dunno how to tell yo.

Dad: --
Dad: Wh..
Dad: No.... wAY..
Randy:Eh??--
Slim Shady: DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH ME TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUE, WHO MADE THIS TO YOU?? W-W-WHO THE FUCK DID THIS TO YOU? WH- WHY YOU NOT EVEN TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A BABY!! FOR GOD's SHAKE..

Randy: Dad are you high again? What are you on about? What the heck you smoked again? Why the fricks you think I had sex with someone? I'm 7 dad. 7!. I was going to come out of the closet, dude.
Keep calm.

Dad: Oh Woah. Um.. So are you gay? Or something? What is it? Tell me I'm not mad anymore, you know I just want to protect you.

Randy: My real name is not Katty Shady. My real name is Randy Shady, I am a boy on a girl's body, dad. I feel like something it's wrong with my body. Why I have boobs and why I have Vagina. It is not mine, Dad. Can you help me, please dad? I need your help.

Slim: Oh.. F-u-c-k. 👌.
I have no idea how to help, baby.
But hey lemme search on the internet A'ight?

Randy: I'll search too.

*10min later*

Conclusions: I'm transsexual. I can threat it with Testosterone and Surgeries.
But I'm not sure if I want to get the one for penis yet.

Dad: I'll take you to doctors, do not worry okay? What name you said you want?

Randy: Randy, please.
Dad: A'ight.

Um.. Yeah. I have the best dad and the best birthday ever, I can be myself and also I'm going to meet Billie Joe. Um. Anything else?

[Dad is talking to Reprise records to call Billie on private call, but Reprise doesn't believe dad]

Dad: I told you all my documentation, my ID, where I live, everything. I am the real Slim Shady! Do you want me to kill you or what?
Stupid dickhead lemme talk to your fucking boss right now. It's the birthday of my son and I want him to meet this fucking Billie Joe. Please.

*Reprise is sending the details to Billie and Billie completely agrees to meet him*

Reprise: We were calling to mr.Armstrong and he completely agrees to meet with you two. *sending details through text*

Slim Shady: Thank. Bye.

Reprise:-
*slim shady hung up*

Well I'm so excited about meeting him, we spoken to him and he said he came home around 16h or 17h so we can drive to there tomorrow.

I'm going to the movies with dad and Ronnie, and I need to get dressed.

Tonight seems cool.
Today was the coolest day.

To be continue...