" last night "

Chapter 18

Windham adjusted and readjusted the same strap on Temperance's harness a few times to be sure it wasn't too loose or too tight before standing back up. He cracked his knuckles a bit to steady his shaking hands. Adrenaline still coursed swiftly through his veins and his blood still roared in his ears.
With this in mind, he took a deep breath, looked side to side, and cleared his throat before saying, "Hey, um... There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now."
Darion cocked his head to the side quizzically, one eyebrow raised. "Yeah? What is it?"
Windham took one more quick glance around before gesturing for Darion to follow him behind a small storage building. Nobody else was really around as far as he could see, but he didn't want anyone overhearing, just in case. It never hurt to check for prying eyes (or ears), especially with what he was about to do.
     His hound wound herself through his legs, making it a bit difficult to walk without tripping. At any other time, he would have found it amusing, but right now, he hardly payed her any mind.
Darion followed suit, a bit more worried now. "Everything okay?"
Windham didn't really give him a straight answer, just a nonchalant shrug. He didn't even look at the man.
"Windham?" Shit. Darion's tone was so concerned and caring and—
"Hmm?"
"Look at me."
He sighed and stared directly at Darion, his dark eyes unreadable and full of sadness at the same time.
Of course, Darion couldn't see this.
"What's wrong?"
He anxiously twisted the end of his leather glove. "That's what I was getting to."
Darion seemed to relax a little at that. "Oh, okay. Take your time, man, don't want you to be uncomfortable."
Fucking hell, those words cut through him like daggers and bubbled uncomfortably in his gut like molten rock. He could feel his heart hammer in his chest even more than it had earlier. He was genuinely surprised Darion couldn't hear it.
"Well, uh... See, there's a bit of a problem. I'm... Dammit, I-I don't know how to put this." Nervousness consumed him like a tidal wave, drowning out any other semblance of emotion (besides other variations of fear) within him. He was at a complete loss for words at this point.
Darion took a step closer to him and grasped Windham's shoulder when he began pacing.
"Hey, c'mon, it's gonna be okay. Look at me, Windham. What's going on?"
     When he said, 'Look at me,' he had begun undoing the straps to Windham's mask. In a matter of seconds it was off, along with the underlying cloth.
Temperance whined, sensing the overwhelming fear emanating from Windham. Even she was starting to become uncomfortable by her master's unease.
Panic didn't even begin to describe the feeling that Windham had. Apprehensiveness? Fear? He didn't know. It was like a jumble of all of those emotions, and it just kept snowballing with each strap Darion loosened.
He still looked just as tired as the last time Darion had seen him unmasked, maybe a bit more. Had he gotten any sleep the previous night?
"Look at me," he ordered firmly a third time, placing his hands on either side of Windham's face. In any other situation, it would have been amusing, considering Darion had to stand on his toes to even come remotely near to touching his face. Windham resisted leaning into Darion's touch and gently pushed his hands away.
He began pacing again, stopping a few times to anxiously run his hands through his hair.
"Look, I just... I've got so much I wanna say, but I don't know how to say any of it— I've got so many damn unresolved issues that I don't know how to deal with, and...and this on top of everything else? It's nearly impossible to relax, I can hardly sleep, it's hard to focus when I'm around—" He stopped and coughed to cover up his abrupt end.
Darion grabbed his arm in an attempt to still him. "Slow down, Windham, what happened? When did this shit start?"
His voice cracked slightly when he muttered, "A few months ago."
"What started it? Can you tell me what it is?"
"It's, um... about you. Both—Both of us, actually," he stammered, beyond scared.
"Oh...shit, what did my dumb ass do this time? Whatever it is, I'm really sorry—"
"Wait, no, it's...it's nothing that you did, it's actually my fault." By the Void, was Darion always this damn oblivious?
"Uh, Windham, not to call you stupid or anything, but you haven't done anything wrong as far as I remember."
This was getting ridiculous. Windham knew he was being a bit vague, but come on, it doesn't take a genius to read between the lines. Or maybe it did. Either way, it was clearly going straight over Darion's head.
     Whirling around in one swift movement, his jaw clenched tight with frustration, Windham growled, "God dammit Darion, you're not making this any fucking easier!"
He immediately froze in place when he saw the look of shock and hurt on his...what should he even call Darion anymore? Friend? Beloved?
Windham's tone went from an irritated near-shout to a heart broken, saddened whisper. "You... you really don't know, do you?"
     His shoulders slumped in defeat, and he hadn't even said what he was leading on to. His eyes stung and his vision blurred a bit.
"I... don't, actually. Look, I know I can be a bit clueless sometimes—"
"You're not clueless." Guilt was now the only emotion he felt, weighing heavy on his shoulders and constricting his throat.
"—but I'm really at a loss for what you're trynna tell me," he finished, crossing his arms. "Now, for the love of the Void, will you just tell me what's getting you so worked up? I don't wanna see you like this."
Windham sighed one more time. It's now or never, he thought to himself, wincing. He swallowed down his terror and held his breath.
"I'm... I think I'm in love with you."