A hero

Therapy

"Can you hear that.....the....the voices?
The voice that echo throughout these walls of my mind, they talk and talk and talk, making my thoughts scream back at me."

"It's like I'm at war with myself and I can't do anything to stop the war.
My mind is at full speed and my thoughts can't keep up with it, I get so tired."

"It's as if I'm loosing touch with what I thought was real and I'm letting myself slip past the face of reality and casting my feelings to the side."

"It hurts. It's hurts. ITS HURTS AND I CANT STOP MYSELF FROM CAUSING MYSELF MORE PAIN, it's as if I'm going mad and I like it...."

"Do you like it? The feeling of going mad or are you afraid?" She asked

"Do I like it? NO I DON'T but sometimes I feel like I do, but I know I don't, and that's what's killing me, that's the pain I put myself through and I can't even stop to think about how it effects my family or myself."

" How long have you felt like this and how does it make you feel?" She asked

" I just told you, kinda."

"Okay, can you tell me how it has effected you recently, let's say between last month until this very second you are explaining this to me?" She asked as she adjusted her black clipboard.

"Recently I've been doing okay, it's just I'm never actually really okay."

"You see...that is a so called way of letting others know that you are literally dying inside and the feeling of not being able to feel a bloody thing and then feeling too much at the same time, but you tell them that you're okay but they say to you 'that's good.'

"You tell people you are fine or you are okay and they just tell you that's good, they don't even recognise what's RIGHT IN BLOODY FRONT OF THEM AND THATS WHAT ALSO KILLS ME."

"It's kill me so much, that even when I'm not crying I feel like I'm drowning in a puddle of my own thoughts and self pity, and I hate every bit of it."

"And why do you think that is, why do you give yourself pity?" She asked leaning towards me.

"Because nobody else does.....I don't even know if I am even giving myself pity or I'm just waiting for my emotions to end up killing me."

She clicks her pen and writes something down on a piece of paper that's attached to her clipboard.

"Here." Putting her hand out, so I can grab the piece of paper.

"This is for you and you only. What you chose to do with it is your choice, not me." She looks me dead in the eye, then smiles.

"Um okay, thanks I guess."

"One more thing before you go....I would like to ask you this." She said walking over to the window on the far left corner of the room.

"Yes."

"If you could have anything in the world what would it be?" She asked looking out the window.

"Hm.....let me think."

"......."

"Nothing....you can't think of anything...just one thing that you would like?" She asked again

.........

.............

"A hero"

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YAYAY I FINISHED MY FIRST CHAPTER!!

I think it's rather good tbh.

Also you will find out who this is in the next chapter.

Or maybe u already know hmmm....

I hope you liked it

Byeeeee

- A