N O S T A L G I A

5

Nag check ako ng social media accounts ko ngayong araw. Hindi naman ako palaging active pero wala talaga akong magawa ngayon.

Scroll up, Scroll down lang naman ang ginagawa ko, nag re-react sa post ng mga kaibigan ko at nag babasa sa mga rants ng facebook friends ko.

Then a certain someone's post caught my eye.
"I love you so much. I will always be there for you. -- with Peter Quelin"

Sabi ko na nga ba masamang ideya ang ginagawa ko. Pero dahil sa matigas ang ulo ko ini-stalk ko silang dalawa.

Lenny Tiu. The replacement. She always tags or mention Peter on her posts. Bakit kaya hindi ko to nagagawa? Bakit kaya hindi namin magawa to noong kami pa?

Habang tumitingin sa newsfeed ko may nakita akong post that says "Kung mahal mo bakit mo iniwan?" Out of the blue I shared it. Then another post and another. All of the posts I shared was all about us. All about him.

After a while may nag pop na chat head. It was him...

Peter: Hey!

You: Uhm Yes?

Peter: Could you please stop that?

You: Stop what?

Peter: Those sharing of posts.

You: Uh why? What's wrong with it?

Peter: My mom keep asking me kase. And its kinda annoying when she keep asking about you. We ended things a long time ago right? So stop doing that.

You: Now don't I have the rights to express what I feel? You've taken my rights on you na nga tapos eto kukunin mo pa? I just want to let my feelings out through this tapos hindi pa puwede?

Peter: Its just too immature for you doing this.

Peter: Tell me honestly. Do you still have feelings for me? 

You: Huh? Siyempre wala na ano pa bang mapapala ko sayo?

Peter: Then please if you will not stop posting those then at least unfriend my mom.

You: Wait. What?! Why should I? I know we ended things up but I can't just cut things with your mom. She has nothing to do with us.

Peter: Of course she does. She's my mom Jen

I logged out after I've seen his last message. Gustong gusto kong sabihin na I still have feelings for him pero won't I look pitiful when I have said that?

Me and his mom become close when we were still together. His mom always calls me and talk about Peter. Sometimes she invites me on their home to share dinner tapos sasabihan niya akong "Kumain ka na 'nak pinag luto kita ng paborito mo."  Minsan nga naiinggit si Peter kase nag mumukhang ako yung anak nung mom niya.

Wala kaseng anak na babae si tita. She was given two sons so she's the only lady in their family. At ibinuhos ni tita sa akin ang pangungulila niya sa anak na babae. I was spoiled by tita to the point na nasasanay na ako. It was so hard to adjust after we ended. It has been harder kase na attach na ako sa family niya at gustong gusto siya ng pamilya ko.

Dear Helios,
                How could you change just like that?
                                              -Selene 🖤