paroxysm // jikook

one

The world hated him.

Everyday was another struggle for a meal, sometimes he would barely get a real fucking meal.
Maybe if he hit the vending machine hard enough, a Choco Pie would fall out, or perhaps buy a milk ice lolly for a couple of cents.
It's either eat something small or eat nothing at all.

He was so so so hungry, and tired.

He was tired of being on the receiving side of elite alphas' cruel rebukes and verbal abuse.
Everywhere he goes, there were more alphas and more ridicule.
On the streets, in the bus, in the store, while he was working; he even started to walk for an
hour all the way home in the cold, instead of riding the bus in order to avoid getting bullied for his weaker build and lifestyle of an omega.
He would rather walk on weak, tired legs than be dehumanised for the way he was made for a 45 minute bus ride.

Right now, he was on his way home from the pharmacy. He lived with his grandmother, who was waiting for him to bring her medication.
She was aging restlessly, and had no one but her grandson to care for her.
He didn't complain about it once, she had done so much for him when he was a child so it's only good that he helps her out.
Right?

She was his only true friend, comforting, controlling and advising him whenever he needed it.
Each day, she tried her hardest to get food from the neighbours, and since she was old and weak, she often succeeded. Sometimes they would be lucky enough to get a large bowl of ramen to share.
Most of the food would be fed to his grandmother, since he had lived a life of poverty long enough to learn to put his stomach down so others can be healthy.
But many times, as a typical grandmother would do, he would be forced to eat, because she "wanted to see her boy happy healthy and chubby".
Grandmas are cute eh?

The small omega was totally lost in his thoughts as he climbed up the stairs, almost bumping into a burly tall blonde alpha.

"S-sorry." He apologized quickly, bowing before running off. The alpha didn't even pay him any mind, as if he wasn't worthy of being recognized as a living being.
But this was better than getting comments from greasy alphas on the streets who said disgusting comments about mounting and breeding the small omega.
This happened at least once every few days, and it made the omega sick to his stomach.
But, he quickly shrugged it off, and walked faster to the apartment where his grandma and him stayed on the 5th floor.
The man fished the key to the apartment out of his pockets, opening the door swiftly.

"Grandma!" He called, looking around the dim space.

A coffee table and 2 old, battered couches stood in to the sides of the living room, facing the old radio his grandma cherished with her life. Her mother gave it to her when she was just a child, and she refused to let anyone touch it.
To the right was barely a kitchen; a little sink, fridge and a little oven in case there was food to warm. The oven had started to collect dust.

To the left was the bedroom and bathroom. He put the medication on top of the oven, and walked to the bedroom, opening the door and peeking in slowly.

His grandma was sleeping, snoring gently and all snug under a fluffy velvet blanket. He had saved a quarter of his payments for 3 months to get that blanket for her, and it filled his heart with joy seeing her sleep with it. The best luxury he could afford with the little he had was watching others be happy and at peace.

Tiptoeing across the room, he reached his bed. Well not really a bed, but more of a bamboo mattress thingy, which lay near the heater on the ground. It was more comfortable than you think, and very good for your back too.

He contemplated going to sleep for a little; since his body was so sore and achy from work. His first job was in a supermarket, he worked there part time, stocking groceries on the shelf all day. Some nights, he'd head over to the internet cafe that was owned by his uncle and see if they were short on staff; if they were, he'd start cleaning the computers and getting snacks for the customers. The last job, which was more for really desperate Friday nights, was selling himself to elite Alphas who pay hundreds just to have his body just for one night. All jobs were just as taxing as the one before, all of them leaving him emotionally and/or physically broken.
But for now, just 30 minutes of sleep won't hurt, will it?

So, he changed out of his ill-fitting jeans and put on basketball shorts, laying down on his bed and started thinking about stuff. He tried to think about funny times with his grandma or finding the small skinny kitten on the street that he started to look after. He searched the depths of his mind to find any forgotten middle school memories of pranks or dance recitals or shopping for new kicks. But, there was nothing. His mind constantly shifted from the good times in the past to the terrible times going on in the present. He began to thinking, thinking about how his life took a sky dive into a dark abyss that he struggled to get out of.

Thinking about what his life could have been if his parents didn't abandon him and his elderly grandmother.

Thinking about his classmates from high school who had grown to become astrophysicists and psychiatrists and actors.

Thinking about how his muscles burnt and bones ached from the slave labour he did each day just to provide a roof over his and his grandma's head.

Thinking about the constant grumbles in his tummy because he had to pay bills and medication costs and didn't always have enough for food.

And before he knew it, hot tears were streaming down his soft pink cheeks, trickling to the ground.

Sadness overwhelmed Jimin as his eyes drifted closed, tears falling through as he sobbed quietly to himself so his sorrow wouldn't wake his grandma up.