Masochist

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1. your daddy doesn't love you anymore.

2. you can remember what pain feels like , you can also remember what pleasure feels like. you can't remember when the lines between them were blurred and you were left bloody and bruised and asking for more.

3. your mama smokes on the balcony , your brothers in his room talking about guns and drugs and death. your daddy holds you close and tells you it's all going to be alright. all you can see is lace and frills and even then it's tinted rose.

4. you met your lover in july. he's got wings made out of metal and rows and rows and rows of sharp teeth , sharp teeth , sharp teeth—

5. he licks the blood from your fingers and calls you dirty , you don't feel dirty, you don't feel at all.

6. the eagle on your windowsill was a bluebird this morning and a sparrow last night. it tells you all the secrets you want to know. you ask it to tell you your lovers secrets. it says he doesn't love you.

7. you ask again the next morning.

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