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It hurts, it has been hurting so bad. Everything went downhill from the moment shit got out of control. I see him around school. Him; the love of my life. I miss his arms around me, his lips on mine; our passionate intimate seconds would turn into minutes, and then hours. We were different in our own ways. I was the only one he would be with romantically and sexually. His experiences with other people didn't exactly go well. All I could think about was everything I had lost. When I think about him, it is mostly positive. On the other hand, the ending of it all was negative, so I'm liable to not just think positively when his name and face pop up in my thoughts. Why did everything have to get all screwed up? God I miss him so fucking much. Many of the things we did still linger around my memories; they are memories I cherish. All I could have on my mind was the good and the bad. The end of last school year presented hell to me. Pure hate for my father dripped from my emotions. That very early still-dark-in-the-sky morning turned on the wrong switch in my life.

I run up the steps and through the front door I go. My father and mother stand there eyeballing me. My mom looks concerned while my dad gives off that pissed tone in his eyes; an actual tone in his eyes.

"Joey you know that curfew is at-"

"Curfew is completely pointless now, Marissa! What we need to knock out of this goddamn kid is the fag he's become. I told you to stop sneaking around with that kid and what do you do? Stay out with him till four in the fucking morning! I ought to go out there and show him what family he's ruining!" My mom tries to convince my dad that he's making a big deal out of nothing but he isn't accepting a word of the truth. My mouth doesn't want to move for some reason. I am too upset and tired to talk to my dad.

He takes a step closer to me, "Nothing to say huh?" There's nothing I can say that will make him less mad for what I've done. I see Ryder's motorcycle lights still on outside, he's still here? I for sure thought he'd leave.

I look back at the door, "Say something, fag!"

My jaw gets grabbed forcefully and moved to face the asshole in front of me, raising his voice with that pale red face he puts on when he rages at me.

"Do not call him that, Tom!" My mother shouts at her disrespectful husband.

"You talk to him about what we're going to do about this behavior. I'm going to deal with this other fag," Before I have time to make my move to try stopping my dad from hurting Ryder he shoves me down on the living room floor, hard.

"Thomas! No!" My mom screams. She runs after him but he's already down the steps heading towards my boyfriend.

"Ryder go!" I shout running out onto the front porch.

"You've fucked with this family for too long. You ruined our son!" His fist collides with Ryder's right cheek.

My feet are able to help me dash down the steps and charge towards my father. He doesn't see me running. My body lifts up into the air and attacks him from behind. Two fingers from each hand find his eyes and push in. My dad grunts loudly and tosses me down to the grass ground. Ryder tries to help me up but my dad blocks him by marking his face with a bright red handprint. Many failed attempts to stop the madness led to no improvement. Ryder leaves my house with a handprint on his cheek and bruised ribs. Yesterday I found out from a friend of both of ours named Ethan that the love of my life now has bruised ribs thanks to Thomas Lagner. It has been a long and rough week without talking to Ryder. I have made quite a few tries to contact him but since my cell phone has been smashed as well as my laptop, I cannot really talk to him. As for talking face to face, my classes in school have been changed so I do not walk anywhere near where Ryder walks to his classes of the day. We used to have lunch together but that was changed in my school schedule as well. I never see his face much anymore since my dad has his police officer buddy escorting me in and out of the school building. Thomas has been paying the security guard at school to watch the security camera footage to make sure I'm not sneaking off somewhere to be with Ryder. I have done that a couple times and came home to getting disowned. My mom is useless at this point. She's sat down and preached to him how I'm a well mannered boy and I deserve happiness. She's downstairs right now trying to talk him into accepting me for who I am.
 
"How is this okay to you, Marissa? That damn devil child has possessed our son! He messed with the wrong family!" My father yells.

"He is in love with Joey, I don't see why it's such a big deal," My mom has always been the one to understand me in times when I really do need someone at my side.

Marissa Lagner has a beautiful soul that doesn't deserve the abuse taken in from Thomas Lagner. She never sticks up for herself like she should. I wish we could leave and get a place of our own to live in. That would never work, though. Thomas Lagner would find us, he'd always find us.

"My god, woman! What the fuck is wrong with you?" He hollers in his wife's caring gentle face.

I see my mom flinch. I'm watching this all go on from the top of the staircase.

"Thomas, you shouldn't hit him," My mom says.

"Well he needs to learn that I don't tolerate behavior like that. We tried so hard to give him a good life and he decided to let some punk destroy it all," My dad snarls; I swear he just growled like an angry dog.

All I want is my boyfriend back in my life. I cannot go anywhere or do anything without being escorted by my dad's police buddy. They're practically best friends. Bruce Quinnsey is a homophobic just like Thomas Lagner. They teamed up to ruin my relationship; one to take the day shift of destruction and one to take the night shift. Two grown men out to hurt a teenage boy's first love. As long as my life is like this, I have no clue where in the hell I'll go from here.

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