Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Pointless words

This is my first story and I'm just getting started, so don't lose hope. Xx

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(Flashback)

"I understand he's your father but you can't keep trying to help him when he doesn't want to help himself!" I yell honestly

"He's my dad Claire I can't just abandon him!" Ryan yells

We have already been arguing about this for over an hour, and I don't even remember how we got on the subject, but some how it ended up on this same fight, again. This is honestly the only thing we ever fight over.

"I know It's not easy to say no, but sometimes you hurt people more by trying to help them!People can only change if they want to, and they have to reach rock bottom before they can decide they need help! You can't just force him to change! " I honestly can't understand how he doesn't understand this.

"Claire he already has a failing liver from the drinking, and I am so terrified that I am going to get a call in the middle of the night saying that he is dead! I can't just watch him die!"

"He has to help himself." I say, giving up, with tears threatening to spill over.

"I need to go for a drive and cool off for awhile. Screaming at each other isn't going to change anything, so let's just stop," I manage to say before I start crying.

"Okay." Ryan says helplessly.

At this point, he is running his hands through his hair violently, which he only does when he he is stressed. Some how, he is still in the exact same position he was when we started fighting, even an hour later. I will make sure he's okay when I get back, but I need to calm down first. By the time I reach the car I am sobbing so hard my whole body is shaking, and my eyes are stinging.

I love Ryan so much it truly amazes me sometimes, but he is only making his fathers addiction worse. He knows he's making mistakes when it comes to his father, but he keeps doing the same thing again and again. I thought that was the definition of insanity; doing the same thing over and over again, and then expecting the outcome to be different.

The cycle begins with Ryan taking his father to rehab and AA meetings for at least six months, but then after all that work he just relapses again. I don't blame his father for succumbing to his disease, but I can't watch Ryan enable it anymore. Addicts will only get better if they choose to get better, no one can force them. We've been through this cycle so many times I can't even count anymore. Why can't he see what is happening, and realize his dad has to choose to get better first?

Through my tears and hysteric state I see glistening headlights coming towards me, and that's the last thing I remember before it all goes silent.