Silver or Gold ( A Victurri Novel )

Better

Shhhh

shhhh

Shhhh

The ice scrapes under my feet, the sound echoing against the arena walls, floating back to my ears, daning around me like haunting music.

I raise my arms and prepare to try a quadruple lutz.

I've never landed one in practice before...

One...

Two...

Three!

I bend at the knees and push my weight up, pulling my arms in and letting my mind go numb.

Crack!

My left skate hit the ice at an angle and I slammed into the floor, sliding a few feet before catching myself on my forearms.

Ouch.

I rubbed my forehead, staring at my warped reflection in the ice.

I am better than this!!

Why is there a boy staring back at me?!

I'm a man!

I'm a man and I am stronger than this!

Five years in America... I should be polished.

Polished, poised, fit, confident... A champion.

No

I'm not a champion.

I'm a loser. I failed on international television. Everyone knows me as the skater who had a mental breakdown and took last.

"No!"

I screamed, my fist slamming against the ice.

I looked up, hearing my outburst echo against the walls, bounce back, and taunt me.

I slowly rose to my feet, my legs were numb from pressed against the ice for too long.

I pushed off, closing my eyes and skating blindly towards the wall.

"Gah!"

I cried out, throwing myself partially over the guardrail, the bar pushing painfully into my stomach.

Huh- it didn't used to do that. Must be the weight I put on.

I stared at the rubber mats on the floor, condensation had built up, droplets mingled with the small bits of dirt and pieces of stray popcorn.

I'm better than this.

"Yuri?"

I looked up to find the source of the voice.

"Oh... Hey, Yuko." I said, my voice soft.

She's still as beautiful as ever.

"Yuri-" she paused, looking for the right words. "Are you okay? You skate beautifully, but I can tell something isn't right."

She smiled, just slightly, reaching out to offer me a hand.

My eyes trailed from her shoes to her hand, I reaching out, I took it, steadying myself and walking off of the ice.

I let go as soon as I was stable, sitting down on a bench and wiping my face with a towel.

Hmm. It smelled of vanilla. That's odd-

"Yuri?"

She pulled me from my thoughts.

"Huh? Oh- sorry. No, I'm okay. I'm just-" I stopped and peered across the rink, her gaze burning a hole into my skull.

"I'm just tired I guess."

I smiled weakly and looked back at her for a moment. My heart skipped.

No, Yuri! You don't have time for relationships... Not that you've ever had one anyway.

I scolded myself and began to unlace my skates, my cold fingers fumbling the laces.

Oh, look at that, my finger is bleeding.

Must have cut it on the ice.

"Here."

Yuko's warm voice interrupted my thoughts as she held out a bandage.

"Oh... Thank you." I smiled and took the band-aid, dabbing off the blood on the towel and wrapping my finger as gently as I could.

"Try and get some rest, okay? It's good to have you back." She placed a hand on my shoulder for a moment, then stood and turned to leave.

"Yuko-" I started, my voice louder than I expected.

I leaned down and laced my skates as fast as I could. I had to show her what I've been working on.

"Please watch."

My voice was timid. I avoided her gaze and made my way back onto the ice. I skated to the middle of the rink and posed, focusing on my breathing.

"Track three, please." I said, just loud enough for her to hear.

She nodded and jogged to the iPod and speaker.

Okay, Yuri. You can do this.