Harry broke up with me. No, this isn't a joke he actually seriously broke up with ME. About a week ago, if that. Louis Tomlinson has NEVER in his days EVER been broken up with, oh no. And then curly boy here just waltz in here like everything was okay and broke up with me and 'devestated' doesn't even describe the pain I am feeling at this moment.
Maybe, it's because he broke up with me for this whorebag bitch Eleanor Calder. How fucking dare he.
But I can sort of understand why he did it...She's a part-time model and all that and I'm just a fucking cross dresser. And it's not like he did it subtly and easy-like either. It was after I found them snogging in his bed. I knew he was the asshole jerk type but I honestly didn't see this coming.
I lay in my bed tears falling for my eyes as I stare at the ceiling, hoping for this to be some kind of bad dream. After I completely gave myself to him. How can I be so stupid? I am just a dirty sex whore...
I can not help but wonder that maybe this was all a joke for him. Maybe, he's been questioning his sexuality and used me as a test to see if he wanted it or not. Me dressing like a girl was probably just a plus for him. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm very used to having meaningless flings with different guys, but I truthfully thought that what he and I had was speacial.
Luckily, when all this happened the room Rick had made for me was finally finished and I didn't have to suffer through seeing Eleanor with Harry because I just don't think I would be able to take it.
I already try to avoid them when they're in the family room and I can honestly feel my heart breaking whenever I see them kissing or cuddling.
And as awkward enough as it is, avoiding Harry in my own home was extremely hard seeming to the fact that I have to stare at his face everytime we have dinner but I honestly, can't even do that.
I always exscuse myself after a few bites because I wouldn't want my mum and Rick to see me crying in the middle of dinner because then they'd definitely know what's up.
And the worst part about that is, that my mum is getting really worried. Scared, even.
And that's just the worst part of all of this, isn't it?
She says I'm eating and smiling less and that she's worried about my health. And it's heartbraking because I never lie to my mum. Ever. Well, maybe I hide some things here and there (*cough cough-secret relationship with totally platonic stepbrother-cough cough*) but, I can honestly go to my mum to talk about anything.
l And I know it's hurting her that I'm upset and not telling her why. I can see it in her eyes she's dissapointed in me (fetus 1D ref hehehe) but I don't want to tell her so she can think 'Oh, my son is being a whore again what's new?' Or mess up her relationship with Rick by cursing Harry out.
D
E
P
R
E
S
S
I
O
N
I spelled it out into Google and suprisingly, had all the symptoms. And I know that all teenagers have one point in their teenage yesrs where they go through a stage of depression but not me. This is my first time feeling this way, and everything sucks.
Glad to see Harry's okay though. Like he didn't just rip my heart in two. Playing footie like he always does. It's like he doesn't even care that he's hurting me.
-
Harry's P.O.V (a week ago)
This is it! I am finally going to be able to hang out with the best college football team in Cheshire! They invited me to come hang out with them after viewing our last game that I kicked ass at playing and I'm so bloody chuffed to be finally hanging out with them and I know this sound childlike and geeky but they're soooo fucking awesome.
They said I'm 'mature' for my age and that I should sometime hang out with them to get a beer or summit. I didn't think they were actually serious until there goalie texted me last night and I'm literally shaking.
"It's gonna be fun babe." I heard Louis whisper in my ear rubbing my shoulder with his tiny hands. I felt a shiver go down my spine at the touch. Was it that noticable that I was nervous?
"Thanks." I said kissing his cheek, looking at those beautiful blue eyes I know all too well. He smiled that lovely crinkly eyed smile at me before sashaying back upstairs in a sassy manner, because how else could Louis Tomlinson walk up the stairs and make it look like a catwalk?
I chuckled to myself because that's exactly what he would say, but froze up when my phone rang. I cleared my throat, before practicing my 'Hellos, Heys and What's ups?' And decided to go with this...
"Yo." I said as calmly as possible.
"Yeah mate we're outside." Nick Grimshaw said back and I can practically hear the smile in his voice.
Nick Grimshaw, captain of the best college football team of Cheshire. Calling me, Harry Styles. A complete nobody.
I checked my fringe before walking outside seeing the black Porsche sitting in front of my house. Nothing speacial, my dad has two.
I greeted Nick and a few if his squeezed in the back before, heading my way through there before Nick popped his head out of the window.
"Nuh uh Curly boy, you get in the front." He said grinning.
I tried not to smile too much or show alot of excitement as I casually walked to the front and got into the car.
Nick patted my thigh lightly before starting to drive and I honestly forgot where we were even going. This could be a kidnap for all I know...but now I'm starting to sound like Lou, aren't I?
There was a few conversations here and there, ne being barely in them trying not to sound like a stuttering idiot because, I'd rather take quiet and mysterious over stuttering loser any day.
Everything was going just fine until Nick pointed out a couple through the window. A gay couple. A gay guy couple.
"Oooh look at the queers!" Nick shouted out of the window startling the couple and getting a few gasps from people walking by. Nicks friends laughed in the background yelling things.
Fags! Assholes! Pantsies! You're a disgrace to your families and God!
By that time my head was spinning and I was starting to feel nauseous. Everything seemed like a blur when those words were thrown, sounding like they were coming towards me, and not the poor couple outside.
"Harry? You alright mate?" Nick asked worried. I nodded dissily. He patted my shoulder and pointed to the window. "How 'bout you say something to the losers eh?"
I swallowed all the pride I had left, yelling "Faggots!" Through the window. And while everyone around me laughed I died a bit inside.
"Lets find Curly boy here a hot bird, eh?"
I heard wolf whistles going through the car as we drove away. Leaving my dignity behind us.
-
Hate myself for writing this.
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I Hate My Stepbrother (Larry Stylinson)
FanficEver since he was a kid Louis' always been a bit...different than the rest of the boys. He loved wearing skirts, dresses, flower crowns, and anything that made him feel pretty. He had a bit of a 'reputation' back in Doncaster but, now that his mom...