I Hate My Stepbrother (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 13- Hurt

Ugh, guys im siiiiiiiick :'( So this chapter might be a bit crappy. Love you guys!

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Harry's P.O.V

I know Louis' depressed. I can see it in his eyes and it's literally killing me. Normally, in our town people don't really have problems with gays and gay couples.

And there are a lot of openly gay people at my school. It's just, after the whole Nick Grimshaw thing, I kind of realized that this is not the way I pictured my life to be.

It was always supposed to be a man, a women, two kids, and a dog... Well maybe a cat because Louis likes cats.

Ugh, see I can't even think straight (pun intended) when Louis crosses my mind every second of the day. I never felt this way about a guy.

Not even a girl really. I'm not into Eleanor, at all. I mean I guess she's a sweet girl and she's kind of pretty but Louis' prettier and more interesting to be around.

And I guess I thought that if I was with Eleanor I could somehow fuck my way into liking girls again. But the sex is horrible.

Sex with Louis is amazing because he's so submissive to me and lets me move him into any position that's satisfying for the both of us. And with Eleanor she basically tells me what I can and can't do, being bossy and needy.

I had to fake an orgasm five times. Five. Fucking. Times.

But it isn't even the fact that the sex isn't great, that's getting me down. It's because Louis' upset. And that's just the worst part about all of this isn't it?

He skipped breakfast for four days now. He always says things like 'Nah, I'm not hungry' or  'I'll eat a big lunch, mum.' Giving her a weak smile before leaving.

Which is not true because he eats lunch at ny table and he always sits and lays his head down on the table. Maybe because Eleanor sits over at our table now and he has to watch me pretend to love her. And pretend to hate him.

And then when it's time to eat dinner he gives himself the smallest portions of the table, or exscuses himself from the table. I'm sure he just eats that little bit to satisfy his mum. I always see the tiniest bit of relief on her face when she sees him eating.

He's lost weight too. His bum went down a bit and he looks paler. He lost the warm tan color of his skin, the same way he lost his smile. The smile I used to mentally name the 'Harry's smile'. The smile I haven't seen in weeks.

I want to stop this. I do, but I can't. I let my pride take the best of me.

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Louis' P.O.V.

"Thanks for dinner mum!" I shouted shooting my mum a weak smile behind me. I saw a glimpse of Harry staring down at his plate like he's thinking deeply. The sight of him making my heart ache. Making me shatter into a hundred pieces of complete nothing.

My stomach rumbled and I wondered if it was because of the lack of food but, the sick feeling in the back of my throat was telling me otherwise.

I sprinted up the stairs and into the hallway bathroom closing the door and locking it. I opened the toilet slowly before letting all the contents of my stomach spill in. It felt like a release. A weight being pulled off of me. It made me feel lighter. It made me forget.

When I was finished I wiped my face off and curled into a ball on the bathroom floor. I couldn't do this anymore. I was tired of being used as a sex toy for guys. I was tired of being the slut, the whore, because whenever I start to love someone. Truely love someone, they always end up using me.

That night, I hurt myself. Just to see if I could feel again. But I guess I wasn't that emotionally drained. Because all I felt was pain. But sometimes that's the only thing you can feel.

-

It was lunch time again. Ugh, I dreaded the one thing about school that I thought I would always love the most.

And that's only because Eleanor and Harry sat there flirting and snogging shamelessly in front of me. It's things like this that completely kills me inside, is the thing. There's always something, somewhere inside me that says Maybe Harry feels bad about this. Maybe he does love you. But then things like this happens that shows me he doesn't and never will because no one would do something like that to someone they love.

I walked to our usual table already seeing that Eleanor was sat directly on Harry's lap, while Harry had an protective arm around her, laughing and talking to Niall...The arm that used to protectively wrap around my skinny figure.

I paused when I heard the words that flowed from Eleanor's lips. The four words that hurt me the most.

"I love you, Harry."

And that's when I, Louis Tomlinson, broke.