5) Stripy Dresses and Cannibal Friends

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"Oh My," the horrific reflection in the mirror almost makes my eyes bulge out.

A popping sound comes from the corner where Zoe is currently flicking through a food magazine. "I think you look cute," the bubblegum she is blowing pops again. She gives me a keen thumbs up like it's going to make me feel better about looking like a snack you buy at the movies.

She wouldn't be saying that if it was her in my position. Nobody can make this dress look good.

Straightening the puffed out skirt I twirl to face my friend. "In what way does a popcorn box look cute?" I ask sceptically trying to cross my arms over the ruffled chest.

It had to have ruffles, didn't it? I need to have a word to whoever designed this dress and thought it was a good idea to cover the full top half of the dress with ruffles.

"Well the red and white stripes make you thinner and I would have said you look more along the lines of a circus tent. It was a Circus themed function right?"

Heavily sighing I adjust the dress so but that only gives me wider hips.

My hopes for having a cool uniform went straight down the drain when I was handed a suspiciously puffy dress holder the previous day.

"Why couldn't it be something slimming like an acrobat suit or a ringmaster with one of them cool top hats? I could have worn a twirly moustache," I sulk at the lost opportunity.

"It's better than a clown costume, nobody can pull off a rainbow wig," She frowns before looking down at her phone, "Oh Lee says you look more like a candy cane and that you're looking especially sweet today ."

"Lee? How did he-"

Zoe dismisses my question with a wave of her hand. "Group chat. Charlie has given you five of them laughing emojis with the tears plus a suggestion that you should audition to be a munchkin in the next community musical. Sam says the red brings out your rosy cheeks but his option doesn't count because he's biased."

I am starting to wonder why I asked them to come around but then again I didn't. Apparently, I have friends who just turn up at my house with no warning.

"Thanks, Zo, that makes me feel a whole lot better. I'm really appreciating all your moral support and encouraging words."

Another voice interrupts my scheming to destroy this dress with the least evidence as possible. "You make a very vibrant popcorn box. You're adorable in a Pokemon type of way." For Casey's first words since I found him at my front door, I'm mildly disappointed.

Finding Zoe waiting for me at my house wasn't much of a shock. It was my new friend, Casey, who caught me by surprise. He quietly followed Zoe and me into my bedroom without a word and silently assessed my horrific new work uniform.

I can't help but assess what he is wearing, "I don't think you should have a say in this as all you probably wear is a variation of the same top but in different colours."

"How did you know?" He pulls his jacket tighter around himself self-consciously.

"Because I have the entire Kmart catalogue memorised and that shirt comes in 6 different colours. And as we all know you can't go to Kmart and just buy one shirt. That defeats the whole purpose of them being $5 each."

My best friend approaches the new guy with a glare that could freeze over the Sahara desert. Casey adjusts his glasses when he sinks into the bean bag chair, "Who is he again?"

"Casey," he offers a hand before leaning too far forward and tipping sideways, out of the chair.

Zoe looks dumbfound at him, most chance wondering how I found someone clumsier than me.

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