If I Could Fly. // h.s. au

Four

UNKOWN POV

~December 13, 2014~

My steps made their way hastily through the snow covered lane, hesitance laced in every foot fall. The occasional lamp-post dotted the path through Central Park, revealing the amount of snow falling through its orange haze. The wind nipped at my bare hands and face. Cool strips of ice ran down my face where tears fell only an hour earlier. The frigid air in my throat hitched as a pale blue payphone came into view. I quickened my pace.

"Come on, come on," I whispered as I looked at my watch. Ten till five. I shoved my hands into my pockets as I broke into a run.

I slammed my hand down on the weathered box grasping the black phone in my other, unwrapping the cord furiously. I pulled several quarters out of my pocket and slammed them into the slot of the payphone and punched in three numbers.

"Operator," A small voice came from the other end.

"Lucy Wencaster." My voice seemed strained and distant. "4263. Valcott Drive."

"One moment, sir." The line cut and I waited.

After what seemed like a century but was only a few seconds I heard a dial tone. It rang once.

My heart beat in my chest.

Twice.

My ears pounded. Come on. Please just pick up.

Three times.

My hands began to sweat despite the fact it was the middle of a snow storm.

Four times.

I shoved my dark hair out of my eyes nervously.

"Hello?"

For a moment, all knowledge as to how to converse with a person depleted leaving me frozen, but not from the cold. A strange pain rose in my chest and tightened. I held the phone to my ear, longing to hear more. I shook my head.

"Hello?" I finally managed. "Is this Lucy?"

A pause.

"Sorry, wrong number." The familiar voice said.

The line cut off.

My heart fell.

I held the phone numbly to my ear the smile on my lips fading away. My mind cut off to the rest of my body and after a few moments I forgot to breathe. I slid to my knees, the phone still clutched in my fist.

Gone. Just like that. The tendency I had to screw things up was through the roof, and this was by far the worst.

The scream boiled up inside me and it took me a few seconds to realize I was actually screaming. I chucked the phone from my hand, only for it to swing back on its cord and hit me in the nose. I exhaled deeply as the sharp pain brought me back down to earth. A warm, sticky sensation spread through my nose and down my chin. I let my head fall as the tears glided effortlessly down my cheeks once again. The wind was picking up and the snow was now pelting my face angrily. And I let it. I sat there for what felt like hours, ice splintering across my skin. My eyelashes hung heavily with frozen water and snow. Snow. It felt as if it had somehow made it into my lungs, churning around like coins in an empty washing machine. But overall, the feeling made me feel empty. I was alone. I failed the people I loved most, even when I didn't know how. I couldn't even do my job- the one thing I did best and made me feel like I had something to give back to the world.

And now I had nothing. 

I was a burning train wreck that went on for miles, knowing it was being destroyed and in only a matter of time would detonate affecting anyone in its path accepting the consequences. I needed to stop this. I needed a way out, a way to get off this track, but the rails were holding me in.

I was a time bomb. And the explosion was unavoidable.