Secret Old Crushes

First letter

   Dear, YOU - My old crush

I sincerely doubt that you'll ever come across this, 

I wouldn't say that i was in love with you -no ,just my first real crush.

I remember your first day when you came into my class like it was yesterday. You looked so nervous but yet so composed as you sat across me next to a friend of mine. Your hair slightly gelled to the left and those dark brown honey eyes of yours which seemed to go through me as if i was  transparent.

Honestly that's not when i started liking you, 

You were new,

 I took interest,

 i was young then- maybe i  thought we could just be friends....

 Thinking about it now, how was it even possible for me to develop such feelings so young?!

 My group practised our dance moves as you got on with your acting team. Then it was time to showcase our ideas.

That was when we first started to talk. 

And as others say love at first sight -i would say i started crushing on you since the moment we started talking.

At some point my feelings became stronger for you and sometimes i caught you looking when you thought i wasn't and that gave me hope. 

Maybe you felt the same way i did?  Or Maybe it was just mind playing tricks on me.

But then one day i had that feeling that maybe you really did like me and it may sound stupid now but i was quite young then so bare with me:

Another friday and our class decided to play heads down thumbs up

You were one of the chosen 4

I had that gut feeling that you were going to pick me- maybe i just thought that if you picked me you liked me...

My friend told me she saw someone else picked me so i went against my gut feeling and stood infront of someone else.

And all that time i felt your eyes on me.

She was wrong, i was right!

You had picked me but apparently it was "only for a joke"- that really confused me....

Weeks went by as i wished i could talk to you and tell you that i had a crush on you 

but i never did.

One day i heard you singing as you walked across the corridors and let me tell you something

my heart dropped to the rhythm of drums and i could feel the butterflies dancing in my belly like fireworks.

For a long time i felt my heart ache - i don't know why but it just did..

You must have made an impact cause i'm writing about YOU 4 years later!

I wish i'd taken the chance and told you how i felt but now that the feelings have faded  and it makes me wonder: if i'd stayed or even told you

would it have been more than a crush?

From, ME - The one who fancied you.