Do you know the feeling of regret?
Do you regret the song you've said?
Do you regret the things you've done?
Or the things you haven't done?
I do.
I know, you would say "tell us your story. But this isn't about me. This is about the story of the person I loved, the person I lost, and the person that will never come back again. He's gone. He decided to leave me.
Now, you'd think "What Happened?". Nothing happened. Except that I did wrong. I thought I make him happy. I thought I helped him. I thought he loved me. But he decided that he wasn't necessary on this planet called Earth Anymore. He didn't said goodbye. I mean he wrote me a letter. But the fact that he couldn't even face me. Why was I so quick when I went to my bike. Would've everything changed? Would he have talked to me? I don't know. And I never will. When we lose someone, they're gone. And there is nothing we can do to bring them back. With slow steps I'm walking to his grave, placing his favorite flowers on it. "I give up. I can't. I can't do this. I can't move on. And I don't want to. If that makes me weak, then fine, I'm weak. But I can't handle you. I can't handle you being gone. I can't handle a feeling like this anymore. It makes me sad. I have to remind myself that nothing is eternal. That some birds aren't meant to be caged. And still ..I guess I just miss my best friend. The person who was always there for me. Who helped me out of every situation. Why did this happen? Why is the world so unfair? Tell me! Tell me why you!" I'm crying again. I don't even know if I stopped crying in the last three weeks. I wonder how I'm still alive. "I need it to stop. I need everything to stop. The worst day of loving someone is the day you lose them. Because in the end, when you lose somebody every candle, every prayer is not gonna make up for the fact that the only thing you have left, is a hole in your life, in your heart where that special someone that you cared about used to be. I feel like I'm never going to be happy again. And every day just gets worse and worse. He never even said goodbye. I miss him so much it hurts. Will this pain ever go away? The flashbacks of a happy life with him, will stay memories. And I won't be able to make new ones with him. I don't want to be done. I don't want this moment to be done, cause if this moment is done, I need to accept the fact that he's gone forever. And I don't want to, I'm not ready. I can't do anything without him. I can't live without him. "Sometimes it happens that people die ..that they decide to leave. I just wish it hadn't been you"
People leave too soon.
Feelings stay too long.
Most truths are just pretty lies .what even is truth.
Because this healthy beautiful imagination of our future together...will stay an imagination. And I couldn't face his gravestone. I couldn't bring myself to come here. I didn't want to let go yet. I wasn't ready for the goodbye. Now everything just reminds me of him. I hear his laugh,see his face... everything is crushed. What do I regrets? Easy
I regret the fact that it wasn't me.
