My life, My Struggle

Not so sweet 19..(part 1)

June 19,2017

I can't do anything, i am just standing there, why am i so weak?.
"Shut up, just shut up!",my father shouts at my mother ,and i am shocked by the tone he uses, i have never seen him so angry.
My mother is all covered in bruises,she is just lying on the floor. I dont kbow what to do.
"God! Why am i so pathetic , why can't i say something.",I ask myself.
This is not the first time my father hasn't shown his anger towards mom but this is probably the first time i have seen him beating my mother.
A few hours earlier we all were happy, having dinner.
I went to my room as it was my bed time and suddenly i heard my father shouting. My mother was trying her best to stay calm. As if there was any other option given to her. I always learn from what i see and the only thing that i have learned here is , women are supposed to be quiet, they shouldn't raise their voice, if they do , their will be consequences.
Now moving back to present,
"Henna!, Henna! Henna", it takes me time to realize that my mom's calling me. I stare at her deciding what to do, she walks towards me .
Thud! She slaps me. I am not shocked nor pained. It's the usual for me. Whenever father shouts at mom , she blames me for it, and then i have to face the consequences.
I just can't understand why am I to be blamed.
"It's all your fault , it was my mistake giving birth to you, your of no use. I wish i had a son instead of you.", my mom shouts at me.
I am trying my best not to cry. It's of no use , she'll only beat me more.
What's the difference between a son and a daughter. I've always heard my mom cursing me and wishing that i was a son and not a daughter.
I walk back to my room. My sister's already asleep. I stare at her hoping i could sleep like her, without a care in the world.
"Sarah! Move aside. Sarah", I shout at my sister.
She dosen't even flinch. I try again but in vain. Giving up I decide to take a shower. As I enter the washroom, my eyes land on the mirror. The girl standing infront of me is a mess. Her eyes are swollen , not because of crying but due to lack of sleep. I just stare at myself. My dark brown hair is all over my face . My once bright eyes are lifeless now.
This sight is not new to me, as I always have to face my mom's wrath.
One thing i'm not able to understand is why is she always angry with me?. I can understand that i'm a girl but then what about my sister. She's not the same with her.
I remember i asked my mom once and that was a huge mistake.
"You'r useless."
"Its just because of you that your father shouts at me."
"We thought we were having a son , but god burdened us with you.", my mom had yelled at me.
I let the water fall on me. It was cold but who am i to complain. I take a quick bath as i have to wake up early.
I change into my clothes not bothering to use the towel as i am really tired.
The bed is fully occupied by my sister, so i decide to sleep on the sofa. Saying it's uncomfortable would be an understatement. we are not rich so its impossible for us to afford simple luxuries.
One more thing that i have learned in my life is, money is the answer for everything. I have often seen my mother and father fighting because of simple things my father can't afford.
My father is not able to afford our education, so I did not get the chance to persue higher education. Well my life I can say is quite tough.
Leaving my thoughts aside i close my eyes and soon sleep overtakes me.
I open my eyes to my moms yelling. The sun rays fall upon my eyes. I close my eyes instantly. Slowly i open my eyes again and see my mom standing infront of me.
"Get up!, the house is a mess and you're still sleeping."
"Get up you lazy creature and start making breakfast".
And that's how my morning starts, but who's complaining, atleast they let me sleep. I wash my face and stare at the mirror.
"Not so happy birthday to me.",I sadly wish my self.
I head towards the kitchen to start off with my chores.
_________________________________________

I know im not good at writing but please give it a chance and pllzz do vote 😊😊.ill be very thankful.
The story sucks right now but it'll get better soon.