two-faced // changlix

thirty

lee felix

he was making out with lucas. on the bed. probably because the height difference is big.

the loud flirty kid from our class? he seemed straight ??

binnie looked like he didn't care about anything, i doubted he even saw or heard me.

I didn't know what to do. is this what it feels like to be cheated on?

i wanted to run and cry, but i couldn't do neither. i just stood there, looking at them, which was kind of the worst thing I could've done in that situation.

"changbinnie?" i said shakily, biting my lip with nervousness. i didn't notice that i was barely standing.

my heart felt like an anchor that was dragging me down. i felt hopeless.

he only looked at me and stopped for a second.

he kissed lucas one last time before whispering something to him, after which he left.

i wanted to scream 'explain yourself!' but i just couldn't.

"i need to tell you something, lix" he started.

"d-don't call me lix"

"okay, i need to tell you something, baby"

"say it then"

he seemed confident and fearless, much unlike the changbin i knew. yeah he praises himself a lot, but he's not really like that.

"i don't like you, felix"

"but why are we dating? why did you lie" i looked at him with puppy eyes that started filling with tears.

"i don't know" was the only thing he said. he stayed silent after that so i left the room and closed the door with force.

how was it possible? he said that he likes me first... he accepted my kisses and even initiated few. i felt like he was enjoying them too.

he also said that things he says are always genuine, that he doesn't toy with others' feelings...

i didn't know what to believe in.

--

seo changbin

as soon as felix left, i fell down to the floor and started crying. it was so hard to lie to his face, to hurt him like that, but it's the only solution.

my phone screen lit up minutes later, showing a message from chan.

adult:

what the heck did you do to felix? he called me and he could barely speak because he was sobbing so much. maybe jisung's idea wasn't that bad...

you:

hyung, don't say that

adult:

you don't want to explain? fine then, you've lost my respect, changbin, i can understand a lot of things but i definitely can't understand why the fuck did you do that to felix, he's already been through enough...

i couldn't reply to that. i would've fucked up even more.

i texted my mom that i'm sick and won't go to school next few days. she just replied saying she'll tell the principal or whoever the fuck is there for that. she was almost always working so she couldn't actually check if i was lying.

i went back to my room, seeing lucas there. "thanks" i mumbled.

"are you sure this is what you wanted? both of you are sad now and you used to be really happy toget-" i didn't let him finish.

"no, lucas, it's not your problem, thank you for doing me a favor, but you can leave now"

"fineeee, you're a good kisser by the way, felix is lucky" he slightly smiled and winked before leaving.

i really could've found someone better to do the job.

next few days seemed like years, i heard that woojin and jeongin helped seungmin a lot with his insecurities and personal problems, i was glad to hear that. minho had no clue about what chan said, both jisung and chan did a good job at hiding it. everything seemed to be normal again.

except for me, of course.

i was the two-faced idiot who kept pushing everyone away when i needed them the most.

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