You Are Not Alone [Charles Leclerc]

🌠Eleventh chapter🌠

"But you'll never be alone
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn
Baby, I am right here
I'll hold you when things go wrong."
Dusk Till Dawn; ZAYN ft. Sia

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*possible TW - cemetery*

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I slowly opened the heavy doors of Monaco Cemetery. It was a very chilly morning in Monaco and cold breeze was waggly blowing around and softly playing with my long brown hair. If you didn't check the calendar you wouldn't guess that spring is on its way. Although I had my favourite hoodie on goosebumbs were appearing on my pale skin. Or maybe it was because of the creepy atmosphere that was dominating here. Only rasping rooks and swinging brenches were interrupting almost stifling silence so typical for cementeries.

I was calmly strolling through the graves of different people resting in peace. Some names ring a bell, some are absolutely unfamiliar for me. You can also easily see how many family members really cares about their passed relatives or how busy are they.
Some graves has fresh flowers or burning candles, on the other hand some are full of emptiness and oblivion.

After a while I finally found what I was looking for: my parent's grave. Basically it's a marbel angel with golden names craveled inside. My mama was a stubborn Christian so Sunday mass was duty and there was no way to avoid that. At the end it was a good thing because local church paid parent's funeral because I didn't have enough money. Mama always wanted to have unusual grave and thanks to the nuns who loved her for how selfless she was and how she was helping poor people no matter what, her wish came true.

I haven't visited them for more than a year. Why? Because I believe their souls are still here and I just couldn't let them see what happened with me after they left this world. I couldn't do that to them. But now I found enough courage to see them and tell them what's new in my life.
I sighed heavily when I noticed that one wing is missing. It was obvious that some stupid vandal will destroy such a beauty. People will never learn.

"I know you are angry that I wasn't here over a year, but I had my reasons," I sat on the ground, "so much had happened since you left. I couldn't stay in our house. I didn't have money for rent so they sold it and now some young family is living there. Nuns from the church offered me help, but I rejected. I...in that moment I felt that I need to deal with it on my own. I didn't want be a burden, they have a lot of work with people who need help more than me. So I started living on the streets, it was two years of misery and uncertainty if I'll see another sunrise. If you saw where I was sleeping or what I was eating mama you would get a heart attack," I chuckled when I remembered how tidy my mother was, "it was the hardest and most difficult time of my life, nobody was standing by my side and all my hopes started to fade away. It was all the same over and over again for 2 years. Cold, hunger, dirt and anxiety. And one day," I stopped to take a breath and calmed myself a little bit. You have no idea how emotional this is for me, "I had enough. I didn't want to live and I missed you so so much. I know, suicide is a sin and I would go to the hell...but I believe you would understand me if you were there. But then something happened. Mama do you remember how you told me that everybody has guardian angel? To be honest I thought it's some religious twaddle, but you were right like always. You know there's one guy...before you started to plan a wedding I'd like to say that we are friends and we don't feel anything more...not now. His name is Charles Leclerc and God...he is the most sweet, humble and caring person I've ever met, he's a perfect prototype of guardian angel...sometimes I'm wondering if he didn't fall from sky or something like that," I laughed at my own stupidity, "I'm sure you would love him...he is also a Formula 2 driver which would be something for you papa, I know how much you loved fast cars, you would get along very well with him. I also met his family and I went skiing with them. Yes, I was skiing and no, nothing happened mama I'm all healthy and it was amazing, but I'm not fan of skiing so this was last time I'm doing that, don't worry," I flinched when I suddenly heard brench cracking. I turned around to see Charles coming to me.