Don't Forget About Me | TØP

Chapter 10 // Tyler

Flashing lights stab my eyelids, and between confusion and panic I begin to spot an object that slowly materializes in front of me. I turn my head around, and realize I'm inside a car. My lungs beg for air, but I can't breathe. I'm trapped inside this car. I'm trapped and about to crash.

I cover my eyes, waiting for the impact... but instead I snap my eyes open, and when I look at the window I see a peaceful road. Not darkness. Not flashing lights.

I'm hyperventilating now.

"You ok, bud?" Jenna's voice brings me back to reality. "Do you want me to stop the car?"

I feel the urge to say yes, but a part of me doesn't want to be stabbed with whatever they used to to put me to sleep yesterday. 

"I'm ok." I say, slowly catching my breath. "I though we were going to crash for a moment, But I suppose I was asleep. I'm sorry."

Jenna's expression is wounded even though she's still looking at the road. "Don't be sorry. You're more than safe with me. I promise."

I sigh, shivering with fear. Outside the car, the sky turned a dark grey, and clouds covered the sun to the point where I wasn't really sure if there was sun at all. I turn around and see Josh leaned over the back seats, fast asleep. I smile and repeat my newly-created mantra: I'm alright. I'm with these two people and nothing can happen to me.

"Jeez, there's a big storm coming." Jenna whispers to herself. 

I watch the sky one more time, feeling helpless.

"Why do I have such weird nightmares?" I ask no one in particular. "Why do I feel like I'm going to crash afterwards? Why does it feel so real?"

My wife shrugs. "I don't know. Everyone has those nightmares at some point, I guess."

I nod, but I can't stop. "Why is there still a void inside my head? Why is everyone always talking about things I can't remember? I feel so left out."

Water pours out of the clouds and stains our window slowly. Jenna fights  the urge to stop the car, really, but instead her eyes flicker over me.

"Tyler, there are things I can't answer simply because I don't know what's going on inside your head. But I do know something: you're going to remember, just as you remembered me. You're not going to stay like this. You're going to be ok."

Her right hand searches for mine and I grasp hers harder than I intended. Still, she smiles brightly.

"Jenna, can you talk to me about Josh?" My curiosity trespasses my pride. "I don't know anything about him, but I do want to remember him. I feel like he's actually important."

Jenna's surprised now. "Oh. What do you want me to tell you?"

I could simply ask Josh to talk about himself, but then that old anger that I used to feel will come back and tear apart my relationship with him.

"Anything."

"Uh, ok." She grasps the steering wheel harder and harder each second. "He's a good guy. I mean, he's your best friend, so I guess I'm allowed to like him as a person too." She chuckles. "Anyway, he plays the drums and the trumpet very well; he's and anxious mess but that's ok; he loves stuff about space like aliens; and I think he's ready to sacrifice himself for those he cares about."

That's not how Zack described him, tho. Someone is lying over here.

"Did he do something terrible in the past?" I ask her, and she shivers for a moment. "Jenna, be honest."

"I guess he did." She bites her lip. "But that's none of or business. He already has a lot to worry about."

I frown. "When I look at him I feel angry. Why do I feel angry? Did he hurt me?"

But then, Jenna looks at me straight in the eye. "I'm not going to talk about this anymore. Why don't you ask him?"

She looks at the road again and with her right fist punches Josh's leg. He wakes up immediately and looks at Jenna, disoriented.

"What the fu-?" He begins.

"Josh, how do you feel about Tyler?" I know Jenna is trying to make things easier but I began panicking. "Do you consider him you best friend?"

"Of course." Josh's affirmation felt more like a question. "Why are you asking that?"

"Because I wanted to know more about you." I turn around and look at him before my wife can say anything. "I realized I know nothing about you, and I want to, uh, remember stuff."

Josh nods and smiles brighter than ever. "I mean, yes; we can get to know each other if you want to."

"Good." Jenna spits out. "Let's get some lunch. Josh, you drive next."

Jenna checks the road for any sign of restaurant or food shop with all the water falling on the window. When she finds one, she parks the car as quickly as possible and looks at us both.

"Stay here. I will buy something light for us all. And don't follow me, remember you're still famous."

"What if I need to pee?" Josh asks, smirking.

"In that case cover your face up and pee as if your life dependent on it." Jenna laughs slightly. "I'm serious. Your life depends on it."

She puts on her raincoat and leaves the car as fast as light. When she's no longer visible, I sink on my seat. 

"So," Josh says. "ask me anything. I'm ready!"

"Ok." I say, calmed down. "What color is your hair originally?"

"Black." He answers. "Or dark brown, I don't know."

"How long do we know each other?"

"Wow, I don't remember how long but I can assure you it's been quite a while."

"Any girlfriend? Boyfriend?"

"Nope."

"Any pet?"

"A golden retriever."

"Cute. Anyway, do you have any tattoos as I do for some reason?"

He shows me his right arm and I realize, with surprise, that it has an enormous tattoo of a  night sky with other things in it.

"We share tattoos too." He shows me my own name as a tattoo in his skin. "Check your left knee."

I stare at my knee and eventually find his own name written down as a tattoo. "Wow." I say, bewildered. "I don't want to ask how this happened."

"Yeah, don't ask." He chuckles. "Any other questions?"

I smile, but I also get serious. Shit, this dude is too nice to screw up. I feel guilty after looking at my knee, but I need to know. I really need to know.

"Final question:" I stare at him, and my voice breaks. "did you ever hurt me?"