To All The Boys I've Loved Before

Myles

To all the boys I've loved before,

It's me! Haha! It's funny how our relationship has grown. We've grown up together since the first grade. I remember the day I first met you. I instantly felt a connection with you and I was determined to become your best friend. Sure enough, soon after, it happened. We were practically inseparable. We would hang out all the time. During school, after school, in choir, everywhere. After a month of us being friends, I knew you were the one for me. I fell for you so hard. I could never get you off my mind. I just wanted you to know how much I loved you and hoped you would love me back too. I wanted to be by your side at all times, which I why I chased you a lot. I really really liked you. In the second grade though, I realized it was pointless. I knew I was too weird for anyone to really like. So, in an effort to get over you, I liked Kyle. That crush didn't last long. I ended up falling for you even more through it all. Kyle moved to Hawaii though. Then came third grade. Who knew third grade was going to be the best and worst year of me. The longer we grew closer, the harder I fell for you. At one point, I was sure I was going to marry you. You however fell for her. We'll call her Jordan for now. You like Jordan so much. I suddenly became the third wheel. Even though I was so hurt, I never stopped loving you. The fear and reality of competition made me love you more. I got obsessive over you. I would look in our old yearbooks and just talk to your picture in it. I would practice how to confess to you over and over. Then the day came. I was going to do it! 

I walked up to you and said "Myles, I like you. I really really like you." and you laughed....

You laughed and everyone else did. I was heartbroken. I began to cry. I cried my eyes out. Then the teacher's aid came to me and sat beside me. She asked me what was wrong and I said "He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me? Why does he like her? Is there something wrong with me?" and she simply told me "Dear, what goes around comes around. If he doesn't like you now, he will later on.". I took those words to heart. 

The year went on and the news broke that you were moving to Michigan. I  was devastated. Not only was I loosing my best friend, but I was losing the love of my life. I spent fourth and fifth grade trying to get over you. Nothing worked. You would visit  the school during Christmas and watch the musical but something was different. I was ashamed of myself and how crazy I was. I thought you thought I was a creep, a freak. 

Sixth grade arrived and so did you. You have no idea how excited I was when I saw you on the first day of school. I was holding back my tears. And when you said hi to me that day, all of my  feelings for you flooded back into my heart. I was in love again. Something was still different though, you were new. You were confident.  All the girls liked you. But that wasn't what fully surprised me. You were flirty. Especially with me. You made me think I had a chance. But I knew inside I didn't. Every semester, I would tell you I liked you and you would reject me but after every rejection, you would become more flirty. 

I was so confused. I wondered 'how come someone can not have a crush on someone and still be really flirty?' . Sixth grade passed and we were friends but still not as close as I would've hoped. When we entered the seventh grade, the entire school shipped us. Even preschoolers. I was cool with it kinda but you, for some reason you hated it. You hated me. When we'd sit together, you would move your desk a foot away. It was all because she was jealous. She thought you liked me. She would cause drama and begin the worst year of my life. I got bullied by her and at the same time, our friendship was fading. I thought it was all worth it though. I endured it for you. I loved you. 

Thank the Lord that eighth grade came. She left and we started fresh. We were put as T.As of the same class. It was awkward at first but we got over it and by the end of the semester, we were closer than we've ever been with anyone before. We were bff goals. We gave each other friendship necklaces and piggyback rides and etc. I'm over you now but I want to thank you. Thank you for being by my side and teaching me the lesson of patience. This experience gave me tougher skin and I am really happy that you're still my bfftlwe. You're a role model and I love you

Love, 

Your "little sister"