The Devil's Daughter (Damirae)

Chapter 4

{So I have gotten a couple of comments on my use of journals as opposed to POVs. I realize I should have explained this in the first chapter but I'm going to now.

My mother is a therapist. She made me write a journal when I was a young child, all the way through my teenage years. I am a young adult now, and I have continued writing journals.

I write all of my stories as journals. I have tried writing stories as typical POVs and though I haven't posted these on any platform, just trust me on this-they're awful when I write them that way. Note: not insulting people who do write them that way. This is only for me- I have seen excellent stories written from POVs and not journals. But when I write in journals it helps me see things from their perspective and not my own; it helps me think based on their thinking rather than my own: and most importantly, it helps me keep in character. It is a constraint I am sure I will get over as I become a better writer.

If you like it, great! If you don't like it, I apologize. If you don't care, well... continue not caring.

Anyway I just thought I should explain that. It may have confused a few of you and I apologize for that. Now let's get back to the reason you're reading this.}

Damian's Journal:

I was on patrol tonight and I saw a woman being mugged by three men. Naturally I beat up the muggers and tied them up. One of the poltroons tried to run away. As if you just run away from The Boy Wonder. As if you just run from the Son of the Bat.

You don't.

If you ever find yourself on the business end of my sword, I would strongly advise against running, and even more so against attempting to put up an ineffectual fight. In your position, your best option would be to lie down and beg like a good little dog.

But regardless I won't kill you. I may be less than clement, but you will go to prison. My father, despite his many faults, is a man who I have too much respect for to betray like that. I cannot become Ra's Al Ghul. No matter what, I cannot kill needlessly. No matter how much I want to. No matter how good it would feel.

I remember the days when I would kill all the time. When murder was something that was not seen as wrong as long as the person had struck out against the league. I remember the rush it would give me. The adrenaline... followed by dopamine... it felt like heaven... now...

Now it feels as when I am about to kill, the people I care for run through my head.My father...

Grayson...

Starfire...

Raven...

My father used to be my go-to. I would think of him and how disappointed he would be with me, reverting to animal instincts and losing what little humanity I have. Now, it is Raven. When I think of killing, her face comes before my eyes. For some odd reason she makes me want to be better. To stop being the grandson of the Demon's Head and be a hero.

I have heard many people call me a hero. Mostly children and fan girls who think I'm the "hottest thing since Justin Bieber" as Logan so tastefully put it. (I have since warned the changeling not to compare me to that fool.) Many metahumans and great warriors have called me that (admittedly to ease my mind.) But when I hear Raven say it, that's when I'll know it won't be because I am an excellent warrior. It won't be she's trying too hard to flatter me. It'll be because of who I am. And so I will continue to strive for it until it happens again.

Damn it! Why does she keep effecting my emotions in this way?!? It concerns me a lot. Is she using some kind of sorcery on me? Is this a passive unintentional ability that she has as an empath? No, then it would effect other members of the group. Is it my own emotions? I have to figure this out. I think I'll ask her if she has casted any spells on me.