My love

1: The Move

A day ago, i would have never imagined myself actually having the guts to run away from my home.

A day ago, i would have not imagined myself standing in an airport, all alone.

A day ago, i didnt even know i had a father.

Its amazing what can happen in a day.

-

-

-

Song of chapter: Stir it up

By: Bob Marley

(Just plays softly in the background lol)

-

Standing all alone, shivering and looking around for what might not even be true, i begin to have thoughts of possible regret. I start to reconsider my actions. What if he doesnt show up? Okay, -okay just let me explain.

Yesterday, when i got home from school, I snuck upstairs to my parents room while my mom was taking a nap. I went up there just to get my ipod that was taken away from me for not doing all my chores the night before. But anyway, i went to the nightstand to get my ipod. But- there was also a letter. A letter from my dad. My actual biological father, i never knew him before. See, my mom took me away when i was a baby so i never knew him. But, the letter said "to Hailey" so, i took it. It had my name on it so i figured it was my business.

The letter was actually from my dad, actually writing to me. He said that after 17 years, he wanted to spend some time with me. He said he wanted me to come visit. He included a plane ticket. And at the time, my family at home was really getting on my nerves. My sister is 13, she doesnt respect me at all. Now i know you'd expect the typical 'sibling rivalry'. But my sister, no. She crosses the line. Over and over, and over. She gets involved in shit she doesn't belong in. Its the same with my stepdad, but hes mostly a control freak, also. I cannot stand being around him. And my mom, well i may as well not even have one. If you dont agree with her and worship the ground she walks on, then your not worth her time. Im usually either ignored, controlled, or critisized. I figured i needed a break. I deserve a break from all that bullshit. I took the plane ticket, along with the letter. I packed a bag and got my friend from school, Amari to drive me to the airport. Hes always been there for me, and didnt question or critisize me. Because he has problems with his family, too. He understands. Thats what i like about him. I mean i dont like him. Amari is just a friend. Ever since like 4th grade.

But, anyway, that is my explanation on how im standing alone at the airport, at 3am. I came from Pennsylvania, and i used the plane ticket my dad gave me to arrive at Chicago.

17, alone, in Chicago. Im supposed to look for a sign he will be holding up with my name on it. Because we wont recognize eachother. Weve never really seen eachother. The only time my dad ever saw me was when i was a couple months old.

So, i got my luggage from the machiene thing, and walked to the end of the gate. He should be here somewhere. I gazed at everyone around me. Theres a couple guys that look to be around my age that are in a group waiting for someone. They're freezing just like me, they are shivering. The only difference is they are wearing either jackets or coats or hoodies. Im wearing an old long sleeve shirt with a couple unconvenient holes in it, with my tightest skinny jeans and my nike hightops. Im just glad i left my hair down, it goes all the way to the middle of my back so it provides some shelter from the breeze that keeps coming through here. I look around some more. Theres some women, girls my age, some younger children with flight attendants, some kids with parents. Some families. I look to the far left and see a small group of middle aged men. I know my dad is the age of..36. Yeah, he should be 36 by now. My mom had me when she was my age, and at the time my dad was only 19. Maybe thats why they're relationship didn't work out. They were only teenagers. I look a little more, and see a guy in the corner with a sign. Hes the only guy i see with a sign, that must be him. Christ, i hope its him. Just- Let it be him.

I start walking down that way, with my eyes on the guy. I dont see him that well, but i can see that he has an oversized hoodie,(with the hood up) and some jeans with some boots. They look like work boots, i wonder were he works? I get closer and the guy notices me. He looks at me. And the look turns into a stare. I can only stare back.

I dont even have to read the sign hes holding to know its him. He's definately where i got my eyes from. We have the same color of bright, baby blue eyes. Not like other blues. the kind of blue that can occasionally turn into a light, yellow green. We have the same angular face and jawline. The same scrawny, tall build. My heart stops and he puts the sign down on the ground. He holds his arms out, and i dont even realize im walking towards him until i close the gap.

-

-

-

When we get to my dad's house,- well, apartment, i realize we are right on the edge of town. The outskirts of the city, somewhere in the middle of the bad neighborhoods, and the huge buildings. The apartment is located in a huge building, with a convenient store only a block away, which i am thankful for. Theres also some other stores and places around, so maybe i can get a job somewhere near. My dads work, apperently, is at a construction site not that far away. that explains the work boots and slightly tattered car, and appearance.

The huge cities and buildings of Chicago arent far away from the area, which really exited me. This could maybe be nice, theres lots of opportunities here, really. Ive always wanted to live in a big city like this. Its exiting, theres always something to see, do. Always somewhere to go. I wonder if theres any dance studios. There has to be. I decide to make some mental goals.

1) find a school and try to pass my grades

2) find a job

3) find a dance studio

And thats what i'll focus on for now.

The car ride home was very quiet and awkward, but the more time that passed, the less awkward it became. We started to speak and make small talk, mostly him asking me various questions. What i like to do, whats been going on in the past 17 years he missed.

By the time we made it here, the tension and insecurity had faded for the most part. I guess i just have to get used to the fact, that its my dad. I just need to get to know him. We need to really talk, and catch up from all the missed years.

"Here, your room is up here" Hugh says, pulling me from my thoughts. My dads name is Hugh. Ive always known this from my mom, but its just weird to actually be in the same room as him. "Oh, ok" i say. I follow him up the short flight of stairs. Downstairs was sort of small. There was a couch, a desent TV. A small kitchen with a microwave and refrigerator. The walls were an off white color which really opened the area up. There was a kind of big window that had curtains covering the veiw. I wonder what the veiw was like..? I'll know eventually. We pass a hallway with a bedroom which i assume is my dads, and then pass a bathroom, and he stops at a room at the end of the hallway. "Well, i mean, its not much, but, im really workin' hard and savin' up for something better so hopefully we wont be here long." Hugh says unsurely, hesitantly glancing at me. I look into the room. Its a medium sized room. Empty, all except for a tan cushoined futon bed in the side, and a good sized dresser. Light grey carpet, Theres even a window, that i can see the city out of. "Wow. Really, I love it. This is perfectly fine" i say, looking at my dad with a happy grin. The worried look on his face dissapears. "Oh, well great. Im glad you like it, hailey. Thats great." He smiles and i nod. I really do like the room."Well then, um, its 4:36am, so i think im ganna go back to bed. But if theres anything you need, dont hesitate to ask, if you need some money, or- "no, really, im fine. This is great, really. Thank you. Im ganna be ok" i said with a confident smile. I set my bag down on the floor and looked around. The area was nice, this room was actually very nice. It was clean and looked brand new. I wonder if it was always this way, just an empty room. Or if Hugh had cleaned it, just for me.

"I just need to find a school, get a job, i'll make some money and,- well yeah. Everything will work out" i said smiling. The worry, and regret from earlier, was long gone. Im ready for this. Im ready to start new. Hugh smiled back at me. Hes just as happy as me, if not happier. "Im just glad to have my daughter, after all these years. Its amazing to see you and have you here. You grew up wonderfully, and you've became really beautiful. I hope you know that. Im just sorry i wasnt there.." He said, trailing off. He looked me in the eyes when he said that last part. He really was sorry. I could see it in his eyes. And i believed him. Im ready to forgive.

"Its ok, ..dad." i said, the word surprising me. Ive never called anyone dad, ive never said the word dad with a true meaning. Until now, and it felt great.