Stupid Hormones, Hugs, and Him

six

C h a p t e r   S i x

I hated hesitation. 

Cole didn't reply. From the silence, I could tell he was thinking. However, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know anymore; wasn't sure if I could handle the cold, harsh truth. Before he had the chance to speak, I hung up.

Tossing my phone away, I embedded my face in a pillow and emitted a frustrated scream. Truth to be told, I didn't know what I was expecting him to say. Did I want him to tell me Blake lied?

Yes. A little voice echoed in my mind. Yes, you did.

Shut up, you're not helping. I told myself.

Removing the pillow from my face, I picked up the teddy bear he gave me when we first met. Memories flooded back, submerging me as a whole.

"Cole!" I chuckled lightly as he accidently sat on my sand pile, while I had believed was my house.

We were in a park eight years ago, when we were both third graders. The park was our usual spot of hangout. It's so important to me I still visit it from time to time – mostly when I'm feeling down.

He looked at me confusedly which made me giggled even more.

"You're sitting on my house."

Cole jumped up abruptly, "Where?" By the time he got up, the pile of sand was already obliterated by his bum. "Oh."

"It's okay." His face relaxed a little, "Sorry."

"It's fine, really." Handing him a baby blue shovel I asked, "Do you want to help me rebuild?"

"Yes."

"Great! Now take this shovel, Bob."

"Bob?" His eyebrows knitted together as he looked around him, searching for Bob.

"I was talking to you, dummy."

"But...my name's not Bob."

"Now it is, Bob the Builder."

We both burst into laughter. Wiping away a small tear, he said, "We can build a humongous castle and live there!"

I agreed instantly. It was a shame that we never finished it. The 'castle' would just collapse by the unstableness and the wind would somehow find a way to destroy it.

But it didn't matter; I was happy.

"Stupid teddy," I muttered.

A small tear trickled down my cheek. It's funny how I didn't realize I was crying. I held my arm out so the bear was dangling mid-air, right above the trashcan.

Even with all these painful memories, I couldn't let my hand go. Instead, I threw it across the room. It landed with a thump but I didn't pick it up this time.

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"HE WHAT?!"

"Shh," I placed a finger on my lips. "Quite down!"

The next day after lunch I told Ava the whole story, from our talk before detention to what Blake had told me last night, but left out the part where Alec drove me home. Honestly, I didn't know why.

"Just let me kill that bitch!" I had to grab her by the waist to prevent her from tackling Monica.

"Stop it, it's stupid anyway."