7 Things About the Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door

"Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday - unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and forever dear." -Unknown

~Harmony~

I must've cried myself to sleep... again, because I wake up to the stinging glare of a dying sun. My room blushes in the fading light and as I pull myself from my grog, something bites in the back of my mind. There is something I should remember. Something I should be doing. Mel's velvet box lies on its side by my hip and I mindlessly flip the lid open, suddenly remembering. I finger around the papers and unfold the bucket list with a soft sigh of paper.

There, number five: watch the sun rise and set.

If I hurry, I can start on this list beginning with number five right now. The sun condenses in the sky to a soft marigold, almost taunting me as it toes the horizon. But all I can think of is, the sooner I complete the list, the sooner I can read Mel's last words for me; it's a beacon at the end of a tunnel darker than the furthest corner of the universe itself. The need to drag my eyes over those final words is like a living fire corroding away at my curiosity and sanity.

I place the box on my dresser and throw my sash window wide open. The cool rush of evening wind brushes over my skin, a biting chill to the warmth of my sleepy-warm cheeks. I dash inside and slip into a furry coat before slipping over the window sill and onto the porch rooftop, a winter's breath snaking lazily through the neighbourhood. I take hold of my coat, dragging it tighter against my body as I slide down the tiles and settle myself near the edge. The once baby blue sky now resembles a marbling of vibrant pinks, rich purples, burnt oranges, yellows and denim blues like something out of a photo shopped vacation magazine. It's hard to take my eyes off the skylight as a ripple of heavy emotion washes over me with a heavy hand.

The soft clouds float gracefully through the ocean of colour and the last remnants of sun rays feel like the comforting warmth of a sweet embrace, stilling your heart and causing your breath to hold for the slightest of moments as the wonderment of beauty sets in.

"You're right, Mel." I breathe to the last slither of wavering red sun, "It's beautiful." Then the light recedes entirely exposing a black sky showered with an unfathomable number of sprinkled stars. And as I looked up to that darkness, it made me so sad - I felt a despair for the arms of colourful sun that held out as long as they could, clinging to the rooftops and spreading its coloured light around like an anchor. But that darkness always seems to win - even though the light fought, it still got swallowed in the end.

Going against my word to Mel, the tears sprung from my eyes and I silently mourned again, not being able to help the few sobs that escaped my mouth.

"I'm sorry," I sighed to the stars, my breath cooling around me in a foggy cloud as the temperatures fluctuate under the silvery sky. "I know I said no more crying, but dammit, it hurts Mel. It hurts so much." I wiped my face and rubbed my numb sore nose. "I know what you said but it doesn't stop me from wishing I were the one that died. You had so much potential; great friends, top classes, beautiful looks and personality, buckets of natural talent - everything I'm not." I paused to catch my breath as I felt it slipping from my lungs like I were trapped underwater. "I would do anything to get you back. Name it and I'll do it. I'd walk to the end of the world and back for you. I'd take my own life for yours."

As crazy as it is, I almost expected a gentle whisper on the wind carrying a reply to my pleads, but the only response I got was the twinkling of the heavens above. I still like to think that it was Mel's doing, communicating back to me the only way she can. I could feel the fires of anger being snuffed out by the night's dark breeze, reducing me to smouldering embers and a wisp of grey smoke.