Love Yourself // BTS JIN (MALE!OC)

Part 5

(GYUHAN POV)

(THE NEXT DAY/ ISSA SATURDAY)

I woke up with a pounding headache and a dry throat "damn where am I? And what happened?" I mumbled looking around the unfamiliar room.

I got up from the bed feeling slightly light-headed, I looked in the mirror and saw my eyes were puffy and red and the clothes I was wearing definitely didn't belong to me, they were too big.

I slowly walked out of the room and walked into the living room/kitchen, I saw a tall figure with broad shoulders busy in the kitchen.

"H-hello?" I said in a scratchy voice. The guy turned around and smiled at me. It was Seokjin.

"Oh, you're up? Here, have some water" he said and threw some water into a glass handing it to me.

"Thanks," I said I sat down at the table that separated the kitchen from the living room.

"W-what happened last night?" I asked

"Well... I heard a loud crash sound coming from next door, I went to check - your door wasn't locked by the way- you had a breakdown it seems, you were drunk and threw a lot of things, I found you holding this," he said walking to the coffee table and handed it to me.

It was a photo of me and Hyunmin about three months before he passed on. "You know... his friends have been looking for you" he suddenly said as he was dishing up some soup.

"Why?" I asked slightly scare were they also blaming me? Isn't it enough that I blame myself?

"We wanted to check on you, we were worried about how you were taking it," he said and went quiet "and from what I saw last night it isn't going too well," he continued.

"Yesterday" I took a deep breath "yesterday was our anniversary..." He looked at me with sympathy "I'm sorry he couldn't be here for it" he said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I should get used to it right?" I mumbled, and he shook his head "Gyuhan you have every right to be sad about what happened, you two dated for a long time right? it isn't something to get over when you loved someone," he said, I just nodded unsure of how to reply.

"Here, have some breakfast then I will go help you clean up your apartment," he said and messed up my hair.

"Thank you... you know for everything," I said softly, and he just shook his head with a smile, as if saying I shouldn't be thanking him.

We finished breakfast, and I washed the dishes after I continued insisting until he finally gave in. After cleaning up we went to my apartment, it was honestly a mess just how much did I have to drink? just how drunk was I?

I got out some cleaning supplies and started cleaning up from the living room until we got to the art room, I was scrubbing paint off the wall and Seokjin was picking up paintbrushes and placing them back into the little holders they were in.

"You know you are an amazing artist" he suddenly said, I turned around and saw him holding one of my painting that I broke last night.

"Was," I said softly yet audible

"What do you mean was?" he suddenly asked

"It's just, no matter what I do nothing turns out how I want it... nothing I am doing is any good,"

"Gyuhan answer me honestly okay?" he said seriously, I nodded and looked down

"Are you blaming yourself? for what happened you know?" he said, my breath hitched and tears started welling up

"Y-Yeah" I choked up, since everything that happened I blame myself for not being a better boyfriend... I blame myself for not realizing earlier on he was having troubles, I hate that I can't accept the fact that now I am alone again and that it is all my fault... if only I loved him more.

"It was and will never be your fault Gyuhan, you didn't know and he didn't tell you... he was a good actor after all,"

"but if I paid more attention to it... to him I would have seen it, wouldn't I? If I took I would have seen it, It's my fault... I hate myself so much for it... why couldn't it have been me?"

I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me, his body heat calming me and comforting me, "The reason it wasn't you is that the universe still has a plan for you, it can be that you will make someone else happy, or being an amazing artist and inspiring others, sharing your story with others and giving other people hope,"

"Hyung... how can I give other hope when I myself have none," I said softly letting my tears fall down my face.

"That is where I'm going to help you... I lost a friend, I lost Hyunmin as well Gyuhan and we just started our friendship and I'm not planning on losing you either," He said wrapping his arms tighter around me.

we stayed like that until I probably fell asleep because I remember nothing else about what happened that day.

(THE NEXT DAY)

I woke up tucked into my bed, with the same clothes I had on yesterday, there was a bottle of water on my nightstand along with a piece of paper.

"I had to go since I had planned to meet up with some friends for dinner, but remember you aren't alone Gyuhan you have me and my friends. Also, there is a surprise in your art room got to check it out. ~SeokJinnie hyung

Oh and P. S here is my number call me and text me whenever"

I had a little smile on my face as I was reading it, I got out of the bed taking the bottle with me opening it on the way taking a few sips before closing it. I went to my art room and opened the door carefully and was surprised to see it was back in the order it was in or maybe even better than before? I'm not sure.

All I knew was that I felt very thankful.