A Breeding Darkness (Complete)

(41)

Her legs no longer able to support her, Lucy collapsed to the ground. Joon followed suit a second later, and for a few seconds they sat in silence and stared at the place where Koshmar had once been.

Joon stirred by her side. "We need to get out of here as soon as possible," he said, his voice rough and worn. Lucy couldn't break her gaze from the grass slowly popping up from where it had been trampled.

She heard the slight stir in the air that happened when Joon summoned things, and then heard the rustle of fabric. When she finally broke her gaze and looked back at him, he wore a pair of pants and a loose shirt made of black and emerald silk. He looked exactly like a prince should, even though his hair stood on end and black veins traced his skin. He was a wounded prince, but not one who was weak. And somehow, that frightened her. Perhaps the him who had killed the girl with the golden curls was returning. Or maybe he had always been the him who had killed the girl, and he'd been playing with Lucy the whole time. He had no problem using people, if what Koshmar said was correct.

With that unsettling thought, she pulled herself to her feet and faced Joon. But then his princely demeanor broke as he grabbed her hands and fear filled his eyes. "We need to leave before he comes back," he said, pointing to the forest. "I don't want to go back to the person I was before. Please."

With his please echoing in her ears, she knew he hadn't been playing her this whole time. He was genuinely who he was, and she wouldn't abandon him now.

They ran into the forest, the branches whipping them as they didn't even look for a path. The darkness swallowed them as they moved away from the mountain, and Joon took a moment to summon a lantern. It was an eerie green, but it helped them avoid stepping into pits or running into trees.

It felt like hours that they ran, until Lucy couldn't force her injured foot to carry her any further. She gasped in pain and collapsed to the ground in a puff of dead leaves. Joon followed, sucking in breaths as he placed the lantern next to them, but shielded one side of it so that it cast only a dim glow over them. As he coughed, Lucy glanced down at her leg. The black veins traced high up her legs, disappearing under her skirt. It had grown so much since the last time she had checked. Fear prickled across her skin, and she pulled down her skirt so that she couldn't see it anymore. But she could still feel the pulsing pain.

"We should keep moving," she said, but didn't mean it. She wasn't sure she could even stand at this point. 

"He won't be able to find us here for a while," Joon said. He sighed, flopping onto the ground and staring up into the dark sky. He looked ready to give in, and Lucy was afraid he would.

"He has power over the dreams. Can't he ask the dream world where we are?" she asked.

"He has control over dreams," Joon replied, closing his eyes. "But this is Zerkalo. It is my Heart. He is searching now, but I told the trees to hide us."

"You can feel him searching?" Lucy asked.

"Yes. He is scouring the dreams for us. But I can hold him off for a while yet."

Lucy lowered herself down beside him, and scooted close enough for their shoulders to touch. The fabric of his new top felt cool and strange, like water. She stroked her hand along his sleeve, then brought it to his cheek where she brushed a strand of his hair back. He rolled his head to the side to look at her.

"Maybe we can wake you up," she said. "Koshmar doesn't have as much power in the real world."

Joon shook his head, but said nothing.

"Why not?" Lucy whispered. "If you get that dagger again, maybe we can prick your finger. It sent Koshmar back, so wouldn't it do the same for you?"

"Koshmar has it," he said.

"Well how did you make it in the first place?"

"I just asked Zerkalo for what Koshmar had, and it gave it to me," Joon replied. "I'd have to ask again."

"Then do!" Lucy said, pushing herself up on her elbows. "We need to get you home before Koshmar tries to kill you again."

Joon again shook his head.

"Come on, stop doing that," Lucy snapped. "Speak to me."

Joon bit his lip, rolling his head to face away from her. After a few seconds of silence, Lucy thought he was just ignoring her, but as she exhaled, readying to ask again, he finally spoke. "I don't want to go back there."

"Why not?"

"You heard him. I was a monster. I killed that girl. Her death was because of my actions," he said. "If I go back home, my memories will return. I'll be that person again."

Lucy couldn't think of anything to say. It was true, wasn't it? What he said? The Joon that Koshmar described, the cold Joon that everyone in Krov Korol had known, had been someone broken and dark. He wasn't at all who she knew, and yet he was. The Joon here, no matter how much he wanted to help and change, was still the Joon that had a hand in Mechta's death. Despite his lapse in memory, he still felt his awful deed and it bled out of him in the form of the darkness that consumed their worlds.

The only thing Lucy understood was that she liked the Joon that lay next to her. She liked him so much. She knew he was sweet and confused and caring. She remembered his fear when he thought she'd leave him, and how he had helped her when he was still trapped a monster bird. In that form, he was supposed to be a monster. He was cursed by Koshmar to be nothing near human. Yet, there had been good in him still. He'd managed to hold onto enough of his human soul to see her in danger and want to help. 

He wasn't the kind of person to kill someone else. Yet, if they returned to the real world, and his memories returned, wouldn't he again become the Joon that had murdered? Could she still like him when he was that Joon?

Her mind whirred over the problem, trying to find some way out of it. She didn't want Joon to go home, but she also knew that time was running out. The black veins were spreading too close to Joon's heart. He'd be consumed soon, and then both worlds would be destroyed by the darkness. There was no changing the fact that Joon had to return home to break the curse, and yet when he returned home he would no longer be the Joon that she knew.

Heart aching, she rolled onto her side and pulled close to Joon. She wrapped her arms around his, and buried her face in his shoulder. He smelled of a winter night, and she wondered what he would smell like, feel like, be like when he became the Joon from before.