A Breeding Darkness (Complete)

(42)

"I'll miss you," Lucy whispered.

"You won't think that when we get back," Joon replied. "I'll get all my memories back, and then I'll show you who I really am. How could you miss someone like the person Koshmar showed you?"

Lucy bit down hard on her lip, wanting to comfort him and promise she'd stay, but not knowing what the real world Joon would be like. Would he be cold and cruel? Would he be changed, due to his time in Zerkalo with her? 

"I don't want to lose you," Joon said, turning his head so he could look at her. Teardrops held onto his eyelashes, much like the river water had when they were children and she'd rushed in to save him. But now she could not stop what threatened him. She could do nothing but hold him and use what time she had with the Joon she knew.

She leaned toward him, pressing her lips to his eyelids to stop his tears, and tasting the salt on her lips as she pulled back. Her eyes met his for a second before he reached up and steadied her face between his hands. His fingers curled into her hair as he kissed her. It was stardust and moonbeams and rain during midnight. It was everything that was still and quiet and completely her own in the loneliness of night.

She held on to his kiss, gripping his shirt between them and wishing that somehow this wasn't real. Somehow she wouldn't have to pull away from his warmth and release him to his judgment.

After a few more moments, she rested her forehead against his. "I'll still be near you in the real world," she whispered against his lips. It felt almost as much of a promise to herself than to him. The only way she could bear to let him go.

"It won't be the same."

Lucy shook her head, closing her eyes and listening to his heartbeat while she still could. The heart that was dangerously close to being filled with the darkness that plagued Zerkalo. "You have to go back, though," she said. "If you stay here, it will consume you and everyone will be doomed."

Joon took a moment to reply, and when he did, she could hear the mourning in his voice. "I can't stay innocent. That is my punishment. I can't hide away here and feel nothing for that girl. I have to return home and face the darkness. I can't hide it away anymore and let it consume me from the inside out. I have to face it head on."

Lucy drew in a deep breath, memorizing what Joon felt like next to her, what it meant to be with him. And then she pulled away, climbing to her feet. "Then let's find our way out of here."

Joon got to his feet, looking again like a prince as he squared his shoulders and took over. He stood in the emerald light of his lantern and closed his eyes, his hands palm up. The air shifted, and suddenly in his hand was the glittering blade from before. It felt heavy, like it was sucking up the air around them. It was powerful and it was ready to be used. It wanted to fulfill its purpose.

"You should go first," Joon said. "If it doesn't work on me, or if it goes wrong, you don't want to get trapped here." He handed her the blade. She took it, feeling a shiver of fear as soon as it touched her skin. It was ice cold and empty feeling. Like something that was missing. She wanted to drop it, but she clenched it tightly and brought the blade to the palm of her left palm. She was used to waking herself in this way, but now it somehow felt terrifying.

Her right hand shook, but she stilled it enough to draw the sharp edge slowly across her skin. Blood pearled behind the blade, spilling into the grooves of her palm and dripping down her wrist. She looked up at Joon as she felt the pull of leaving, and pain blossomed in her stomach like a horse running her over. She grimaced, and felt hands on her that did not exist in this world. Her vision blurred as Joon took the blade, and she felt the rush of leaving just as he slid the blade across his own palm.

###

Lucy's eyes flew open as pain exploded across her body. She yelled out, wanting it to stop, and her body protested at its sudden and overwhelming appearance. She rolled onto her side, clutching her stomach, and felt arms steadying her.

"Oh thank goodness!" she heard a breathless voice say. She blinked, looking up to see Saul above her. Her head lay on his knee, and he held her shoulders as she slowly became more used to the pain. She glanced down to see that her dress was shredded around her torso and that long and deep gouges ran the length of her stomach. The monster that had attacked them in the caves had left its mark in the real world, at least.

"We thought you were going to never wake up," Alisdair said, and Lucy found him with her eyes. He sat to one side, crouched and concerned. Behind him she saw a brick wall and realized they were no longer in the cave.

"Where are we?" she asked through gritted teeth. She clutched her stomach and rolled onto her knees, before taking a moment to breathe a few times. Saul placed a hand on her back to steady her, looking worried the whole time.

"Outside Gregor's home," Alisdair said. "We thought it was perhaps the least likely place for someone to look for you, now that Gregor is..."

"What happened to you?" Saul asked. "Koshmar turned up and you passed out. He said he was going to have to deal with us later, and then he just... disappeared. We thought maybe he'd gone to Zerkalo."

Lucy nodded. "He did. He was trying to kill Joon," she said.

"What?" Saul asked. "He was trying to kill the person he raised himself?"

"It's complicated," Lucy muttered, gritting her teeth while she forced herself to her feet. "We need to find out if Joon is back now."

"Back?" Saul asked.

Lucy nodded. "We thought we found a way. It was supposed to help with the darkness if he came back." She looked around, but the streets were still pitch black. The only light came from lanterns in windows and the lanterns at Alisdair's side. Lucy hoped against hope that it was only nighttime, and that the sun would rise. It had to. Joon had sacrificed himself for that sun. He was facing his darkness head on. It should work.

"What time is it?" Lucy asked, staggering to the brick wall and steadying herself.

Alisdair glanced at the sky out of instinct, and then shook his head when he realized he could see nothing. "I don't know exactly. Maybe around midday?"

"Midday?" Lucy asked, fear lacing through her blood. She ran through a list of curses in her head, hating that she had gone first and left Joon behind. She looked down at her palm and saw the clean slice of the dream blade across her skin. The pain from her stomach had been sharp enough to erase all lesser pains, and she was only just now seeing the flaps of skin oozing blood down her wrists.

Seeing her staring, Saul leaned over and gasped when he saw the wound. He snatched her hand and held her still while he pulled off his scarf and wound it tightly against her skin. Her wound would scar, and Lucy thought perhaps that was best. A memory that wouldn't fade when she woke up. A memory to stay with her forever, just like the darkness.