thought bubbles ☹︎☺︎

my testimony.

hopefully this will help someone. here is ny testimony.

when i was 12, i came into a very dark dark place. i would look at myself in the mirror, and i would say to myself "i don't even know who i have become." i used to be happy, full of life, i would anticipate tomorrow, but then, a switch turned off, the lights dimmed down, and i was alone.

i would wear too much make up for a 12-13 year old girl, i said things i shouldn't say, and i made friends with people who were toxic and evil. i would get bullied through snapchat and instagram, i would get told to kill myself, i got told that they wish i would just go ahead and die already.

and i believed them when they told me that i was worthless. i believed it when they said i was ugly. i believed the lies of the devil. i was too blind to see Jesus in front of me offering his hand to help me.

i started to self harm. i just wanted it all to end. i cried out to God asking him "why? why me?". the question i think we all have asked at some point.

towards the end of summer, my best friend invited me to her church on a wednesday. little did i know, that that act would change my life forever. i didn't know anybody there, i was very nervous. but i also felt welcome.

i started going there, regularly. i started to make friends within the youth group. it was good. but, i started to make the wrong kind of friends. the friends who wore a mask on Sundays and Wednesdays. they were 'pretend' christians.

it wasn't good for me. they drew me away from God. they pulled me towards things that were not good for me. it was awful.

but, beginning of this year, things started to change a little. i dropped some old habits, but i also picked up new ones. good and bad. i made some new friends, dropped some old ones. i even went on a mission trip, and i was one of the best things that i had ever experienced.

fast forward to this summer. i knew that i wanted to go i camp. i love it. i had gone the year prior and i loved it. i would be insane if i didn't go.

on July 8, 2018 at Student Life Camp in New Mexico, i got saved. i heard God calling my name "Kali, Kali, come home!" and i did. i gave my life to Christ. i professed him as my Lord and Savior in front of 1,000 people.

at camp, i also made a pretty cool friend named Dallas. we only met for about 20 minutes, but i wouldn't have traded it for anything.

and when i came back, everyone had said that i act different. that i have a different, more happy presence. and i told them, "Jesus man. that, was Jesus."

but i was not ready for the challenges to come along with being a child of God. it is hard. i found myself in a rut, where i would read my bible and study His word, then i wouldn't touch my bible for a week. and that was something i didn't like. i found myself going to Christ as a helper, not a Savior.

and God and i, we had a talk. i fell on my knees and asked him, "Father, what do you want from me?" and he said, "be a leader."

he told me to be a leader. to who? how can me, a 15 year old homeschool student, be a leader? i can figure that out by prayer and talking to God. i can figure it out by reading and studying his word.

and yesterday, on September 2, 2018, i got baptized. in front of my church, a whole body of believers. and when i came out of the water, a song lyric came to mind, that was "and i came out of that grave"

at first, i was blind. i didnt know who i was, i didnt know who the real Jesus was. i didnt know.

now, i see. i know who i am. i am a child of God. i know who the real Jesus is. he is my King. i know.