Crying for your help.

Spoiled boy

I remember.
I remember every thought that ran through my head.
I remember every sound I heard.
I remember every taste.
I remember every tear I cried that day.
I remember every time you claimed you loved me.
I remember every time I thought I'd rather be dead than here.
I remember watching the clock go by.
I remember wishing to go home.
I remember every time I said no.
I remember it all when I see the scars you left.
I remember it all when I dream at night.
I remember it all when I close my eyes.
I remember the spoiled boy who never learned the word no.
I remember.

I see the looks I get when people find out.
I hear the words they say when I walk by.
I can hear the names they call me when I sit by myself.
I close my eyes and remember the horrible night and then I feel ashamed I let it happen like they say I did.
I cry my tears in the bathroom stall while they laugh and whisper.
I miss the people who made me forget who are now gone.
I walk these halls hearing the things they say, remembering the names they call me, and the spoiled boy who didn't hear my voice.

But of course it's my fault.
So I guess I'm sorry spoiled boy.
I'm sorry that I didn't speak out enough apparently.
I'm sorry I let you think it was fine when I was crying.
I'm sorry I let you do the things you did.
And to the people in the halls at school.
I'm sorry that you found out.
I'm sorry that you think it's my fault.

So again I'm sorry to everyone that this happened to me.
And I'm sorry I let the spoiled boy take my virginity.