Equestrian rants

Part 1

"The horse does all the work."
Righto, let's have you get on MY horse without stirrups or a mounting block (she's 16.2 hh)and jump a 1.20 course without stirrups or reins. Or better yet, make you perform a Grand Prix Dressage test on a hot horse with massive movement. Let's see how you do then, huh?
"Horses are weak and stupid."
Oh, watch out buddy. A horse can kill you with its own body in less than a second. It takes a human a second to register that a horse is kicking. A horse takes less than a second to kick. So you will quite literally be dead before you know it. Horses were used in war. As for stupid? Haha. That's hilarious. I can't even begin to describe it.
"Dressage is boring." Excuse me? Um, watching a game of football is boring thank you. Like seriously. What kind of 'sport' is that? We perform the highest level of precision, control and skill with an animal ten times our size that can't speak our language.
"Riding is a weak sport."
Uh, what? I am stronger than more than half of my class and I don't work out. I mean, apart from riding two horses for 45 minutes to an hour every day. Most of the time without stirrups.
Girl in my year:I was playing soccer the other day and got a concussion.
Me: that's funny. I nearly died the other day.
See what I mean? Like, you don't know me and you don't know my sport. You can't talk.
My friend: I fell over playing netball yesterday and sprained my ankle.
Me: my horse got caught in an electric fence on the holidays and I went out to get her. The fence was off and it's like that rope sort of stuff. It was running behind my legs. My horse panicked, reared and bucked. The rope cut open the backs off my knees. I couldn't walk for a month.
(True story actually. I still have the scars but it's all good because my horse, Lily, was okay.)