I feel FOMO and envious because of what my friends are currently doing right now; the things I don't do or haven't been doing for a long time.
Those feelings started to gnaw at me when I heard my boyfriend agreed to be a part of Event Organizer for alumni gathering (I forgot what batch) when his friend asked him to be so. I know it's bad of me to feel envious or FOMO due to someone's work, but I can't help it.
The feeling got worse when I knew that a person whom I dislike is also a part of this organization. And I can do nothing about it.
In a wrap, it goes like this:
1) I can't and don't want to be a part of this organization because I've got something else to do, plus I wasn't being invited by a friend of friend.
2) So it's my boyfriend who's joining the organization. This made me feel like I'm missing out on something and I felt like he's better than me (which he probably is).
3) And there came this person, whom I hate, and apparently she's taking part as well and I'm just like... ah.
I know that, deep down, these feelings are caused by low self-esteem. It's very uncool, to be insecure because of other people do differently than me no matter how cool their projects are in my perception. Maybe it isn't that great after all. Maybe I'm destined to work on another project or cause, the one which I deeply believe in.
It's really easy to say these things, but I'm still struggling to accept these. To accept myself as I am.
Sep 7th, 2018
Aci
(still trying.)
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Feelings: Unbottled
Short Story"Feelings: Unbottled" meaning is pretty self-explanatory: it is meant to be a place to pour all my feelings and emotions instead of bottling it up. I am aware it is hard to express my feelings because I am so used to keeping it to myself. But I gues...
