Bound by Steel | #ToAllTheBoysContest

maybe you'll see this someday.

Dear Edward,

I wish more than anything that we never had to end the way we did, because what we had...was the type of feeling that shouldn't have an end.

I still think about you every moment of the day when I find myself looking at something beautiful. I will never get your eyes out of my mind and how they'd crinkle at the corners when you'd smile at me. Or how your hair would fall in your face while you're sleeping, softly shielding your eyes. I will never forget the feel of your skin on mine or the beat of your heart slowly quickening under my head as I lied on your chest. Or how you slipped your hand under the pillow and slowly intertwined your fingers in mine and slowly rubbed circles with your thumb on my skin, making me feel as if I was in heaven. I will never forget how you'd turn over and wrap your arms around me ever so tightly, as if I was your last breath of oxygen. Or how you feared nothing, not failure, not my father, nor death itself. 

That cold late January day replays itself in my mind every night. It was my seventeenth birthday and that isn't even the reason why I remember it so well. It's because it was on that day that I received the best gift life could've ever given me. A boy with a piece of metal in hand, asking if he could measure my wrist because he wanted to make sure that the bracelet he made me in welding actually fit. A boy with a smile that could stop the stars from gleaming and the ocean waves from crashing. A boy that was the greatest friend that anyone could ever ask for, always there, always waiting, even when he knew he was only being used, but he did it out of love. Out of loneliness. That boy, who called me everyday and every night and talked about the joys and sorrows of life with me for hours. That boy listened to me cry over the missing pieces in my heart and replaced them one by one with every word, every smile, and every stolen glance.

That boy is you.

And I wish I would've known you'd come to be my destruction. But I didn't care then, and I still don't care. 

Even now.

Because you were my sure thing Edward. My anchor. 

You don't know how bad I just want to pick up my phone and call you. To just listen to the ringing of my phone, dying in anticipation wondering if you're staring at the screen as I call or if you'll actually answer. Waiting for my heart to ignite into millions of fireworks and explode, just as you breathe and say..."hey."

You'll never understand just how much I love you. 

You'll never understand that, like the bracelet you gave me on my birthday, we are bound by steel. 

Yours Infinitely, 

M