The half of me I never knew

As I walked by the street, covered with rain, on one dark, dim day, there was a young man who gave me one grey umbrella..the streetlights then flickered..1,2,3 and he was gone. I did not get to see even a glimpse of this young, generous man. Maybe he probably had to run off to work, or had forgotten to buy the things he needed in the grocery store..but at this time, this late?

I walk, confused, and the rain suddenly stops. A bright, flashing beam turns upon my face , as I thought it was the sun, but instead, I got knocked down by a uncontrollable airplane.
"Pretty random" you might say, but no, it was not. I was all alone. I got hit, right at the face, brutally. The streets, empty and grey, now painted red, in fear. But I wasn't knocked down; it was him, the young man. ( why did he loose his life for me )...

3 years have passed after this incident, and I still wonder "who was that man". Well, I stay in an inferiority complex. Like completely. I can't control my feelings. It's not love, it felt like death. There's this group, that I Stan alot. They're called "bangtan sonyeondan" or let's say "BTS". My bias, Jimin, hasn't been active lately.. is he sick? Did he get lost? I don't really know...

OR OH NO, IF MY INSTINCTS MUST BE TELLING ME ITS HIM..NO, NO NO NO NO NO. ITS NOT TRUE..IS IT?? I dash out of my door, and I run more than 84 miles
to where the crashed airplane was, and, what I saw..was just..TERRIBLE

Jimin, it was Jimin who saved my life..there's this other half of me, which says, it's not true, it's not true..but the left side already occupied me and my brain. All I can say is " if I can tear myself. I won't love WHAT, I'll just love myself later". I sprint down the street, crying, and watching every drop of my tears making a shiny but repulsive path away.

I probably tried to endure the pain I felt, just by looking at that one man..it was harmful. Love pains, dosent it?.....