Lover - Reddie

eleven

oh shit i forgot i left you guys on a cliffhanger i'm so sorry.

"you know i love you."

"doesn't matter anymore."

"but it used to?"

"of course."

"and now i've lost that."

"what do you think?"

"i think i fucked up big time."

eddie turned his head up and stared at richie with his wide brown eyes. "yeah, no shit sherlock."

"eds, i'm so sorry that i put my reputation above my friendships." eddie jerked his head away sharply at that, but richie tried to ignore it and powered through. "and i was high."

chuckling under his breath, eddie said: "yeah, i could tell. another reason i'm not so sure about you anymore."

for the first time since... well since richie could remember, tears welled in his eyes. he tugged off his glasses and took eddie's face in his hands. a spark of something that could maybe be molded into forgiveness lit up in eddie's eyes as richie stared seriously into them.

"eddie, i'm sorry. i will never put anything over you again. you're my best friend now; i can't lose you. it hurts me when you're not around and i feel angry when you're not attached to my side. you're my favorite person i've ever met- almost tied with bevvie but that's not the point- and i truly do care about you." he tilted his head down. "i mean it."

richie pulled eddie against him, and the boy sucked in a harsh breath of surprise as their bodies leaned against each other. richie's arms wrapped tightly around his waist, one fingers slowly tracing a circle just above his waistband; the way richie had to lean sharply over; richie's face against his neck (he could get used to that); richie's smell; the warmth of skin on his. it was all almost too much for eddie.

but at the same time, it was just enough.

richie would never let anyone see him in any way that would allow them to think he was even slightly homosexual. but when he tried to pull his hand away from eddie's when they reached the school, the boy let out a whimper just like the one from yesterday and tightened his fingers around richie's own.

so he broke his own rule- something he'd been doing a lot of lately- and held a boy's hand as he walked the halls.

'only this once,' he thought. but maybe not. but maybe he liked it and he was telling himself he didn't. 'but no,' he decided. 'i'm not gay. sure, eddie's pretty damn cute and he's really warm and his shorts are really damn intimidating and... oh shit.'

richie suddenly tugged away from eddie, his eyes widening behind his glasses. "oh shit," he said aloud this time.

eddie looked up at him, half surprised, half worried, fully scared. "w-what?"

"i shouldn't... i've got to get to class. i'll see you later, kaspbrak." he bolted away on long legs, disappearing into the crowd. eddie took a few steps after him, but quickly stopped and turned to find millie or beverly.

he found her- both of them, actually- sitting in the gym, sharing an apple and chittering like birds.

"hey babe, what's up?" bev asked, hidden alarm in the words.

eddie suddenly fell crying against her, and she pulled the small boy to her chest, cooing and rocking him as she looked at millie with confusion. "eddie? eddie, what's wrong. you have to tell me what's wrong if you want be to help you, bubs."

"r-r-ri-rich-ri-."

"richie," millie growled. "eddie, listen. he's no good, okay? broke my friend's heart a few months ago. he jumps relationships and has commitment issues and-."

"i don't want a relationship!" eddie howled, then picked up crying."

"yeah, sure. you wouldn't mind kissing him and holding his hand and fucki-." she stopped when she noticed bev's glare.

bev bit her lip. "if you don't want a relationship with richard then why are you crying?"

eddie choked. he fumbled for his inhaler and shot the steam into the back of his throat. he sat away, wiping his tears. "okay, fine. you win bev. i like boys. i'm gay and i'm as gay as they come and if you're mad then-."

bev laughed so suddenly that eddie flinched and millie looked up. "oh eddie!" he sighed. "is he not so adorable?" she asked millie.

"why're you laughing?"

"you know bev's gay, right eddie?" millie said, grinning. "a lot of our group is. i'm pan, so is billy, wyatt's gay, just like beverly here, chosen's ace, which is adorable, but i think ben and rich are straight."

bev slapped the girl's arm. "maybe richie isn't straight," she said, grimacing and nodding toward eddie.

"he makes all those homophobic jokes, though," millie protested. "and he flirts with me."

and eddie started crying again.

i'll probably update again today. so sorry i left you all on a cliffhanger. ily. and don't be silent readers. i don't give a care for voting, but i love reading your comments 👏😭❤️