The Humanity of Emotion

Chapter 2

CELESTINA

There are some things that men call freedom, equality, and liberty. But do these apply to me? I am but a doll, made to entertain man's fantasy. Sometimes, I wish I were human; that way, they would not cage me and treat me as merely a toy, a plaything.

I worked in a theatre, the public theatre. They called it "The Doll's Dream", after me. They have meant something else when they gave it it's name; but I believe it done aptly so. For it was the prison in which I can do naught but dream.

Life is but a gentle lake. Sometimes, ripples could be made on it, but nothing which could truly change it. There are no great ships, no beginnings or ends. I am tossed by the small waves, but I could never be thrown overboard, or be dragged away.  

Everyday is a ritual. I am fed, cleansed, clothed. I dance, sing, perform. I charm the hearts of many, but none of them truly have me in their hearts. I would want to be a true woman, to live in a real home with a family, reading, sewing, having a true conversation with people I really cared about. There was once I have read a story about a man who died because he did not have anyone to love. I am existing right now, and perhaps that's why they say dolls are different from human beings.

We do not need love to survive. But I do think that I need love to truly live.

The lake gave way to a river. My life flowed- either upstream or downstream, I could not figure. A shadow of a man passed across the window. They opened my cage, and I flew away. Or am I to be locked elsewhere?

"Celestina?" the young man who purchased me called my name. "Are you fine?" He touched my arm gently. He looked at me with concern; it was not something I was used to. Maybe he wouldn't like to go home with damaged goods, I thought. That must be it.

The carriage rattled on. I hadn't answered him. He sat, looking at me, as silent as I am. Then, the sight of a mansion rose not far from the distance.

RENATE

The good Viscount brought me the doll. She was indeed a beaut, and I proclaimed her so; yet my friend seemed not in the same happy mood as I in being able to procure such a treasure. I asked her to sing in my presence, and she sang like a lark. But it seemed that she was tired, and so I had Marsius attend to her needs. Collier remained in the room.

"What bothers you, old friend?" I asked.  "I have noticed that you are not in such jolly good spirits as what I have thought."

"It is nothing, " he answered. "Celestina refuses to answer me."

"Celestina?" 

"That's her name." 

"Oh, so they do have names. Like Marsius. But I gave him that. After my old cat." I smiled, trying to reassure him. I believe I failed when his features turned to a frown. 

"She's not like Marsius." he said. "Celestina is something else. She's not just as.... low as he is." 

"Marsius is not that low as you speak. He is my dear friend." I could not say anything against Marsius. He has always been there, trusty, dependable, honest. 

"But again, he is but an artificial person. He is not one of us."

"And so is your Celestina." I looked straight at him, but Collier evaded my eyes and let himself out. I sighed. It pained me, disagreements like this. I might have many acquaintances, but only a small number could be called friends. And among these friends, I only trust so very little. Those that I trust, I truly worry about.

MARSIUS

She looked at me with her odd, peculiar eyes. In a way, it reminded me of my own.

"Here, do they treat our kind well?" she asked. She was constantly fiddling with the sheets I've furnished the room with as I lugged her huge chest accross the room. I really think that the master is spoiling her- or the Viscount. He had ordered a large, lavish room be set for her and sent some of the maidservants to the market to purchase some dresses and necessities for her.

"Marsius," I recalled him telling me. "We will be presenting her later. It will be fit if we have prepared her properly for other people to enjoy." 

"Wellness is relative." I answered the young artificial being. "I am existing right now, I am well-maintained. I could vouch for at least that. And the young master and his friends are quite agreeable- reasonable, even." 

"You are lucky." she said. "Your type is freer than mine." She swung herself onto the large bed I've just dressed for her. 

"Even if I am luckier, like you, I aspire for humanity." I said, remembering the ponderings that I have had the last few days. About humanity, about being Marsius the man, not Marsius the artificial life. 

"I wish... I wish..." she murmured. I checked at the time on the wall, noting that it was but a few minutes until the master will expect me. I then excused myself to hurry onto my next duties, slipped out of the room and rushed to where the master will wait for me.

"Marsius." I heard the master's voice call out to me. "You will have to attend to the Viscount today."

"Yes, master. But why?" I asked curiously as I approached him. He was half-dressed, his hair in quite a disarray. He must have just woken up.

"He is.... not in a good mood at the moment. I would not like him to have further discomfort." he answered.

"But who will take care of you?" I said, rather impetuously. 

"I am perfectly able to attend to myself." he said proudly. The silver of his moving chair glinted faintly, and I was reminded the obviousness of his vulnerability. "If not, then I shall have Celestina attend to me."

"If I am correct, Celestina is not a servant type. She will not be able to aid you and I..." I started.

"It is completely fine." he smiled. "Marsius, you should go see to the Viscount already. I am quite worried for him. If you would need anything, just tell me. All right?" He waved me away. I read the irony in his words. When will a servant need to ask his master for something? It seemed oddly a reversal of the roles long practiced by society. But I knew this was a dismissal, so I rushed to put into action the task appointed to me by my master.