Feelings

Confusion

Does anyone else feel like they're not themselves sometimes? 

I've been thinking more and more about what and who I am as a person lately and I'm not even sure what that is. It's like I was replaced by someone who took all of my thoughts and feelings and replaced them with someone who doesn't know who she is. 

I was wondering if this is what depression feels like, or maybe it's something else. I don't feel sad or lonely, I have many people around me in my life that love and support me. It's just me that's wrong. 

I don't know if it's hormones or maybe the relationship I'm in, I'm just not sure. I can't pinpoint it and it's frustrating as hell. 

I'm sitting here, writing this to see if it helps, but it's making me more confused. I wonder if it's this guy I'm seeing.

He's a great guy, but I wonder if he really wants this relationship. Before we started dating we both confessed to each other that we were both really busy and needed to focus on school. I'm starting to wonder if I should have just told him that we shouldn't date at all. 

I'm starting to wonder if he's pulling away.

Maybe he thinks I'm crazy and depressed like his ex.

Maybe he thinks I'm not the right person for him. It does seem like he's pulling away.

Although today was really the only thing that had me thinking this. He didn't text me for 12 hours and that included overnight. I thought at least he would say good morning since I said goodnight. But he didn't.

I'm also wondering if I'm just overthinking things. Maybe he's just busy with his family and wants to spend time with them. That's understandable right?

We have only been dating for less than a month.

I just want to do this right. I want this to work. He is a really amazing guy. But is he the amazing right guy for me?

These are the questions I have.

Maybe I just need some time to myself. To be truly single and not try to be with another person.

Time to yourself is extremely important. Even if it's just thirty minutes a day, everyone needs that.

Now me on the other hand, I need some time to really get to know who I am.

I've been dating someone on and off for a consistent 3 years now. I've never just been me. It's always me and what's his name.

As I said before, time to yourself is very important, and maybe I'm in desperate need of a little bit more than thirty minutes.