I'm not in love

Kakashi's POV

I don't love her.

Everyone keeps telling me that I do. That the way I look at her, the way my eyes stay focused on every single of her movements, that whenever she enters the room my attitude changes.

But I don't.

I already told Tsunade that I don't like her.

I told Naruto that I'm better off alone.

I told Shikamaru that she's my former student, far too young for me.

When Ino told me that she wasn't crying for Sasuke, that it was for someone else, I suggested that it was because she missed her parents.

When Guy told me that I should say something to my special someone before the war, I stayed in the peace of my apartment thinking about my past and my regrets.

That night I didn't dream about soft, pink hair, or sparkling green eyes, happy and sweet smile, nor a perfect body, or the way she bites her lower lip when she's thinking... or the way she looks at the gate of the town waiting for someone to arrive.

And I have never thought about the way her eyes look at Sasuke, the way she smiles at him, the way she blushes when she thinks in who knows what.

No, Sakura is my former student, and I don't love her.

I ignore Tsunade when she tells me that Sakura is looking at me, that she smiles whenever I am around, that she doesn't get much sleep when I go to some mission, that it's not causality that she attends me every time I arrived injured to the village. I know she only says it because she feels sorry for me and my love for Rin.

Yes, I still love Rin, Sakura doesn't appears at every single thought I have, in every single corner of my house, in the forest, in the dessert.

No.

I don't crave to hold her, to kiss her.

I don't love her.

But then.

In the middle of the war, I saw her.

She looked at me, warning me about one white Setsu who was behind me. And she didn't saw the one who was about to put a kunai on her back.

As the same time I knocked out the one who was with me, I saw her falling to the ground. Surprise in her eyes. Then pain. Then fear.

And the world stoped.

I couldn't hear anything.

I ran up to her.

I dropped my knees beside her, and vented over her.

I saw her features, sweat and blood covering her face. Still she's beautiful.

I'm shaking. I can't take my eyes off of her.
Drops star to falling on her face. I realise I'm crying.

I try to stop the blood but I can't.

My chest hurts. I can't breath.

But why? I mean, I want her, she's my former student.

And then, realisation came to me.

"So this is what love feels like"

I hugged her, close to my chest, I still couldn't breath.

So that horrible pain that I felt to the thought that I might never see her again, that she will never give me a sweet smile again, her sparkly eyes will never see me again... that's love.

I heard my name, but I couldn't move, I felt that if I moved I would be giving up on her.

I couln't hold her like this before, so no one will take her away from me.

Still someone calls my name, I looked up and see the pained look of Shikamaru.

"You must fight, Kakashi-sensei!"

I didn't answer. I caressed her sweet cheeks and put her hair away from he face, I then buried my face in the crook of her neck and kept weeping, I didn't care if everyone saw me, I could only think of her.

"IDIOT!" Tsunade yelled at me "I TOLD YOU BEFORE! BUT YOU WOULD NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE! GO! LEAVE HER TO ME!" She said lifting Sakura's body from my embrace. "You are the Copy Nin, you have to keep fighting"

With that she leaves running with Sakura in her arms and a couple of ninjas guarding her. I looked to the battle field.

I saw my teams, I saw my collegues, and suddenly I saw Shikamaru fighting like the strong young man he was now, I saw Gaara how powerful and full of corage he was, then it was Naruto, I didn't have words to describe how I felt when I saw him, but the funny 12 year old kid had taken his place in the battle field, only for a few seconds, and then the war made more sense.

I fought for him. I fought for my late friends and family. I fought for my village and my people. But must of all I fought and I survived to see her one more time.

~•~•~•~•~•~

I wake up with a start, I sit on my bed, covered in sweat and with heavy breathing.

My bare chest rising up and down fast as I cover my face with my hands.

It's only a dream, I say to myself several times to calm down.

I feel a soft and little hand on my shoulder, pulling me softly down to bed.

"War memories again?" she says with sleepy voice.

"Yeah, sorry that I woke you up" she says no with her head and sighs. "Go back to sleep" I say, looking to the ceiling.

She puts a hand on my unmasked cheek and turns my face so I can see her green sleepy and beautiful eyes seeing me with so much tenderness and love.

"Kakashi, I'm here" She happily says with her sweet smile.

I smile as well and I pull her into my arms, I kiss her with all the love that I feel for her, she kisses me back and embrace me.

I caress her naked back and I stop when I feel a scar. I rest my forehead against hers.

"I love you, Sakura, I love you more than my life"

She smiles. I love that she smiles every time I say that I love her.

"I love you too, Kakashi"

We kissed again, and with her in my arms I fall asleep, but this time without bad memories.

__________________________

Hi! ^-^

So this is my first fanfic in this fandom, I just started to see Naruto and I loved Kakashi right away!

Sooo yeah, I read some fanfics and obviously a lot of spoilers but anyways, I really do love this ship and this new fandom for me.

I hope you liked it! If you did tell me so, if you didn't same.

Thanks for reading!

AT.