Thin Line Between Black And White

Prologue

            “I remember too well that night. I remember to well about everything. It’s not like I had a choice though, well that’s what they tell me anyway. I like to believe that I did and still do have a choice. All of the choices I have made since day one, has accounted or somewhat led me to what my life is now.” I move my gaze, to look out the window. The windows cover majority of the right side of the wall; huge massive windows, peering out to the bright blue sky and green grass. I close my eyes and run my palms against my knees lightly. I lick the bottom of my lips and continue.

            “My life to me in three words is, destroying the beautiful. I know that sounds dramatic and over rated but it’s the most honest statement that I must admit from my whole existence. It was never my intention to destroy anything. I never thought when I was younger that I would be at this stage in my life. That I would have done things that I never could comprehend or imagine as a little girl, but that’s just it though, life puts you in these incredible and very difficult situations. And the worst part of it all is having to deal with it and deal with the consequences that my choices have caused and effected.” I pause. I don’t want to talk anymore. I don’t want to think anymore. I can’t handle the burden of all of this. It’s too personal to be sharing with a stranger. It’s just too much.

            I sigh and close my eyes. I breathe slowly, waiting for a reply from what I have just shared. She must think I’m insane or crazy. Maybe even suicidal. But I can assure you I am none of those things.

            I open my eyes and peer down at my legs. They are shaking from my nervous. I look around the room to avoid contact with the older woman who should be giving me advice or at least writing down what I have just said aloud. But she is just staring straight at me, making me uncomfortable in my skin.

            I look around the room and I can see what little color she has in her room. It’s all black and white. She must be trying to go for that modern look. I never have loved that at all myself. I feel like it washes everything out. Maybe I’m just washed out and I don’t even realize it. It would make sense. Living in this world and going with what I’m told.

            “Miss Charleston.” I look straight at her. I notice her washed out blonde hair in a neat tight bun. She wears a silky gray button up shirt and a long tight skirt. If I would have ever seen her on the streets, I would have thought she was a stuck up prude. But she could be that now too. She looks as if she is always examining my every move. Judging me in everyway. But in all do respect to her, her voice is kind and gentle.

            She catches me staring at her and clears her throat. I want to hear what she has to say, but I don’t think I can handle anymore people telling me their side of the story or telling me what I should be doing.

            “Miss Charleston, I believe or would like to address what I think of this situation.” She pauses for my approval to hear what she has to say. I nod slightly uneasy on what she might say or possibly think. She clears her throat and continues again. “I can see or would like to assume that you live in the pass dear. But I must assure that the pass is in the pass and there isn’t anything you can do to change it.” She clasps her hands together after her short little speech. She raises one brow at me, signaling that she wants me to respond to her belief. I pull my gaze away from her and look at my hands in my lap.

            “Well?” I look up at her again. I sigh before answering.

            “Have you ever experienced anything so worth wild or absolutely traumatizing?  I ask.

            “Miss Charleston, you are avoiding answering me.” She says calmly. I roll my eyes.

            “I am trying too. But for that to happen, you must answer my question.” I say sternly, never breaking my gaze with her. She sighs and relaxes her body into her chair.

            “I would have to say no. No, I have not experienced anything of such sort. But then again I would never have the stupidity to do such of things you have chosen to do with your life.” Her voice lingers in my head a little longer than it should. I wonder if that’s what everyone thinks of what I did. Everyone finds it stupid or crazy even. I don’t even know what I find it. I just know I am purely happy with the decision have made.

            “Exactly. But I would not call what I did stupid though.” I simply state. I know I am being extremely difficult and not to mention stubborn.

            “Then what would you call it then?” She asks, I can hear a little curiosity in her voice slip out but she quickly covers it up with a light cough.

           “Justice.” I say strongly and let a small smile slip out from under my lips. I know smiling is wrong, but I can not help it.

I watch her mutter something under her breath and get up. My eyes follow her to her desk where she picks up her phone.

           “Excuse me for just a few minutes dear.” She says while pointing her finger up at me and turning her back against me. She speaks very quietly into the phone and I can not make out what she is saying.

            She turns back to face me again and hangs up the phone. She stands up straight, and emotionless. She folds her hands together and lets them hang in the middle of body. I hear a knock at the door, and I turn my gaze to look.

            The door opens and five tall men walk in. They all are wearing a white jumpsuit and a white helmet with black glasses on. I shiver once I see that they all carry the same weapon. A long black tazor. I have seen many people be hit with one of those and you can see the electricity flow through their deligate bodies, trying to control the pain but they scream for help. I flinch, when I feel two warm hands grab onto each sides of my arms.

            “You will be coming with us Miss.” The shortest one out of the five of them says to me. They two men who have a hold of me, pulls me up to my feet. Their grip on me is tight and strong. But I won’t go down without a fight.

            I pull back from their hold. I start screaming and squirming against their hold. The shortest man takes a hold of my neck to make me stop moving. I do.

            “Listen here. I am only going to say this once. You will do as we say and will follow our instructions, do you understand?” He spits in my face. I nod to let him know I understand. “Good.” He nods, with a small crooked smile. I give him a big grin in return. He raises an eyebrow at me and I spit into his face. He jumps back and wipes his face. He looks back at me, red in the face with anger. I see him grab his tazor and the two men let go of their grip on me. I fall to the floor and the shortest man comes up to me. I look up just in time to see him swing the long tazor toward my face.

            I wake up screaming, drenched from my sweat. I run my small hands over my face, trying to feel where he would have hit me.

            I sigh in relief when I feel no pain or welt. It was only a nightmare. A very realistic one at that. My room is still dark and I turn my head to look at my alarm clock. It reads 3:45 a.m. I don’t have to be up till seven. I sink back into my bed and sigh.