candy lips

chapter one: junior year

'well isnt this fantastic' i though to myself while looking in the mirror on my first day of junior year.
thinking about this summer and how carefree it was, all the fun i had and places i visited. i dont really wanna go back, i dont wanna confront him or see him again. the person who was forgotten all summer but i always knew he was somewhere in the back of mind waiting for the time to crawl back to my heart where he's unwanted.

i put on a jeans and a graphic t shirt along with converse. i brush my brown curly hair in a half split and put on light makeup, some concealer and blusher, and head to school.

i get out of the car into campus and find my regular friends waiting in line huffing and blowing air on their faces, it sure is a hot day for September. i greet them and turn to mia, "i'm not ready for this, not at all" i say to her, she chuckles and pats me on the shoulder, "same here, dude" i dont get the dude thing, but she says it all the time.

i look around for my other best friend alex, i see him coming in through the gates having a disgusted look on his face and a naturally applied bitch face.
"i cant take this, i'm gonna burst into flames, i have mrs. Landon first period and my brain is on fire" he says as he makes a crying face. i guess no one is ready for school yet.

i feel something itching on my side and look around and not so surprisingly, i found a specific someone staring at me, oh god he changed since last year, not alot but he did change. he looks away as soon as i caught him and mia looks at the direction i'm looking at and then back at me with a smirk and saying "i see this is still going on" and i roll my eyes, she continued "like seriously lana its been months, move on already" i register her words in my mind, it really has been months and i dreaded coming back here, but he's the only reason i stand this place and also want to get away as far as possible at the same time.

first period comes by and its math, i made a promise to myself to get a good gpa this year so i closed that part of my mind for a bit and focused on the task at hand.

two periods of math ended and i was heading to the next class. i walk silently till i feel his presence, i look up and see him looking at me, i feel electrified, i look away quickly before i fry. he stops and stands in the hallway and acts as if he's talking to his friends to make the hallway narrower and he brushes his arms against my back.

lunch time came and i sat with my friends, i was sitting on a bench next to liam one of my close friends, i was sharing my grapes with him and i look up to see him, aaron on the bench infront of us sitting with a bunch of seniors who are talking about football, i look to the side and act as if i'm dazed and thinking about something, and the familiar tingling on my cheek began and slowly i turn look at him again and find him staring with a serious face, i look for a second or longer but ignore him nonetheless and look back at liam and found him playing with my hair and i continue talking to him. "so i dropped on of my airpods last week, not such a peachy start for the year" he laughs and nods "yeah that must suck, mine are falling apart though", "how come?" i ask, he shows me an earpiece and i find it cracked in multiple places, "yikes" i say "i know" he rolls his eyes, "hey do you know what kind of music mia likes?" he asks, i'm not surprised at all, i've noticed he's had a thing for mia from a long time, i really did find them cute and i knew he'll treat her right "electro and indie" i answer and he thanks me and continues browsing through songs.

the rest of the day passed without anything significant happening, and when i left my locker and descended the stairs, surprise surprise who i see there, his friend looks up at me and then he nudges his arm and aaron looks up and began walking slowly until i was two steps from him, and i was in a hurry to get as far away from him as possible and into my car.

i put the key in the ignition and start driving i thought about getting a mango peach smoothie to reward myself for surviving the day. i park the car in-front of the smoothie shop and get out, i get through the door with a jingle of the bells and head to the cashier, " hey i'll get a large mango peach smoothie to go please" i say, "sure, that'll be $4.25" i pay and thank the girl and wait for my order, i grab it and turn around and look into the chocolate eyes of the person i tried to avoid that day.

he smiled at me, he goddamn smiled, i felt like my feet were jelly and i was shocked and couldn't move, his smile grew and starting to, oh so slowly walk towards me and thats when my senses came back and i quickly left with my smoothie and got into the car faster than light and headed home.

i closed the door behind me and shouted "mom i'm home!" a few second i got a reply back "okay honey! there's lunch in the oven" i thank god she didn't make it late like always, this day was stressing enough and home cooked meals can be the cure for anything.

i call my sister on FaceTime since she's in college far away "heyyy sis" i saw while smiling like a dork, "hey how was the first day of school" she asks, "do you really wanna know" i scowl, "of course, i need to keep reminding myself how lucky i am to not deal with school anymore" i swear she's so lucky away from all the bullshit of this town and the people inside it, "nothing really enjoyable...or important" i say quietly, i hear mumbles and i say "what??" i think it was along the lines of "as if aaron isn't important enough", she kept quiet and after a while said "nothing" with a cheeky grin. i don't remember the last time i told her about him but she did see many poetry and drawings of him.

i drop on my bed and scream in the pillows thinking of how stupid i was to just run off like that. but what was i going to say, how was my brain going to work.

i think about him while scrolling through instagram and while im watching tv, i see him in the succulents on my bed side table
and i keep thinking about him till sleep takes me away, and his name the last thing on my mind.