candy lips

chapter 2: stolen glances

second day of school, what a happy day(note the sarcasm), english first period and the best thing about this class is the poetry and stories. we were taking a story about a knight who is in love with a princess and she too is in love with him but not entirely sure of it.

the teacher is reading and says "Despite the friendship that blossoms between them -- or perhaps because of that very friendship -- the young Knight finds himself so flustered and speechless that he's totally unable to bring up the subject of his love. So one day he asks the Princess, point blank: 'Is it better to speak, or to die?"
and i thought about that part of the story for so long, too long. the minutes went by and i kept thinking if i should speak my heart, but i cant, what about my mind, i'd scream too loud if i speak my mind because my heart would want to get in the way, to be let out of its cage.

the bell rings and its time for art class, this is the second best class of the day, since art is one of the greatest things i love to do. i start working on a picture of a boy a very handsome boy, he had chestnut hair and he was holding a girls face between his hand, subconsciously i was engrossed in the painting and the colors that i didn't realize i was drawing aaron, but i didnt know the girl, she wasn't me, she was beautiful and thats what made her different, she was beautiful in his eyes and thats what mattered.

lunch time came but i didnt see aaron and i noticed that i haven't seen him all day, maybe he skipped, being a senior has many perks, one of them is skipping.

i start heading to class and take a short cut where no one goes, and i found him. arron standing with jason, alex's friend, i know its wrong to eavesdrop but i couldn't help it "when does she go to the ice cream shop with alex?" i hear aaron say, "i dont know, not a specific time, maybe on weekends, or Tuesdays, but i do know she loves cookie dough with berries" jason replies with a triumphant look on his face,
suddenly i feel a hand on my shoulder and gasp but find that it was just mia, "hey! come on we're gonna be late for class" and i just go with her and forget about what they're talking about, i'm pretty sure i'm not the only girl in the world who like cookie dough and berries, certainly not the only one who does on tuesdays.

i sat in my car after class and just sit there listening to abba while analyzing what just happened, i scroll through tumblr and find poetry and writings about people in love and how much they're hurting or breaking because the person they love doesn't notice them; i get so distracted that i dont notice alex getting into my car before he says "so..what are you hiding from? more specifically, who are you hiding from?" i scoff and nervously laugh "im not hiding from someone..." he gives me a stink eye "i know human beings too well to know when one ,especially my best friend, is lying, so spill".

i take a deep breath "iwaseavesdroppingonarronandjasonandtheyweretalkingaboutagirlandshesoundedsomuchlikemeandihaveafeelinghemightlikemeback" and take a huge exhale.

"woah woah woah slow down, start again" he says with scowl.
"i was eavesdropping on aaron and jason and they were talking about a girl who sounded soo much like me and i have a feeling he might like me back" i say while holding my hand up as if in surrender.

he looks at me in disbelief and says "i have no idea what to say to you, you do know he's a fuckboy right? he's been out with ashley and karen and everygirl i know".

well that was music to my ears. i felt stones being thrown at me. i never thought something might actually happen between us, i thought it was just a high school crush where it'll fade over night or end with heartbreak, but who am i kidding, i doubt he's date me, probably the only reason mia or alex or jason hang out with me is because i have good music taste, or at least i dont ignore them. people in this school are more shitty than a dogs ass. what could make him any different?

"i better call mia" i say as i look ahead in front of me and feel a heavy weight of disappointment on my shoulders.

after a couple of rings she answers as if she's in a hurry "hey lana i'm about to get out of the school gates but wait i'm with jason, told me about this record shop and he's taking me to it can i talk to you later? bye" and then she hung up. i havent said a single word.

i'm kinda sad she ditches liam for jason, he's a really sweet guy and know how to be a gentleman, from the way i see it even if jason is the hottest guy in the world i wouldn't consider dating him for his god awful personality. liam had both the looks and the persona, i dont know why she doesn't consider dating him.

"well i'm going to the smoothie shop again , wanna come?" i haven't really been watching my calorie intake but who tf cares anyway. "yeah sure, might make me tolerate the old man anyway"

alex doesn't like his father much, he's always mean to him or ignores him. he doesn't genuinely hate him, but wouldn't pick him as a daily pain in the ass thats for sure.

we arrive at the smoothie shop and place our orders and wait on the table.

"so how's things going with anna?" anna was the girl alex liked, or as he claims 'loves', and she is senior from another state but she comes here to visit family in the summer and goes back home in winter for school. they spent the entire summer hanging out and talking, everything was purely platonic except in alex's eyes, as far as we know. ever since she left he's been very gloomy, but i dont blame him, i bet i'd be pretty sulky too if i woke up one day and found out Aaron disappeared, nothing ever happened between us, not even friendship which makes me sound pathetic even to myself, but i would always like to think something would blossom between us.

"nope nothing yet, maybe she's settling in and reuniting with old friends" he says with a blank expression but a slight crease between his eyebrows.

we take our orders and stand by the car, "i dont really wanna go to school tomorrow, or the day after, or this entire week, or this entire month" says alex and i chuckle "same here, man" and i sip my smoothie, i feel a tap on my shoulder, i turn around and feel both ice and fire travel through my veins.

"hey, you're lana right?" says aaron smiling widely. i freeze like a fish and star at him but then i regain my composure and say "uhh..yeah.umm..yes, thats me" and nodd and laugh nervously, god! what is fucking wrong with me!, he laughs and says "im aaron" while extending a handshake, i take it and look back at alex while he says "and i'm out, see you later lan" he says as he leaves and gives a smile to aaron.

"so youre in my chem class" he says as if i dont spend that entire 45 minutes staring at his beautiful chestnut waves, and his sculptured back muscles. "yeah i've seen you a couple of times, you were the one who caused a blue explosion on mrs. margaret's  face" he bursts out laughing, oh god his laugh, its heavenly, i knew that before but this time i heard it so close to me.

"yeah that was iconic, but anyway she totally deserved it" i chuckle and say "yeah monster-mouth Margaret deserves anything that comes in her way" and i laugh.

i turn to look at him and he's smiling down on me. we stay there in complete silence until i cant help it no more and as i was about to i needed to leave he opens his mouth and says "hey how come we never hang out in school" i think for an answer that wont make me look like an idiot and not give away the fact i've been stalking him for two years "well you're a senior, i'm a junior, our grades dont really mix since karen hates the crap out of me, and she being you ex, you're supposedly off limits to any sort of relationship with a girl, platonic or not" i think about what i just said and dear lord he'll think im crazy and want a relationship with him.

"i dont even like karen, the only reason i dated her was because she forced me too, it got me famous and alittle bit of free invites to parties but i never actually cared about her" well thats a shocker, karen is one big twat for that matter i'm not really surprised if he hates her.

"well i better go, see you in school" i say in a rush as if he was a disease and got into the car. "yeah..sure" i didnt give him the time to say anything else as i drove off.

what the hell just happened.