i'm afraid to go underwater
in the bathtub
my pulse goes
up
down
up
down
it's the same rhythm
that your fingers made
when you slowly slipped them
into my pants
and then
into me
it's the same rhythm
that your fingers made
when i was too scared
to scream
and too confused
to try to run
it's pretty ironic really
the one thing that keeps me living
triggers
and hurts
me the most
and lord
does it make me cry
it's the same rhythm
of my heartbeat
the day my mother told me
people go to jail
for touching
little children
i'm sorry i was too scared
but grandma
would be so sad
if grandpa went away
i can't break her heart,
she says
he is the only one
she's ever loved
i'm sorry i wasn't scared enough
i'm sorry i tore my family apart
but some people would be so sad
if i went away
i can't break my momma's heart
she says
i'm her little girl
she'll always love
i'm sorry
this poem is so
unorganized
i'm not very good at this
opening up thing
but i just wanted to tell you
i'm sorry.
