ᴄʟᴀᴜᴅʏ's ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs

❶

🌹ڰۣڿڰۣڿஇღԑ̮̑ঙღڰۣڿڰۣڿஇ🌹
ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴀs ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ sᴜʙᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ "ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏs" ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇsᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴀs ɪ ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪᴛ, ɪᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀs ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴛɪᴄ ᴀs ɪᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ. ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇʟʏ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀɪᴛᴇʀɪᴀ. ɪ ᴡᴀs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴄʀᴀᴘ ɪᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇᴀʀ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs, sᴏ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ.
🌹ڰۣڿڰۣڿஇღԑ̮̑ঙღڰۣڿڰۣڿஇ🌹

Each and every one of you gave me a spark
Once I liked you, there was no end on what I'd do to get you to notice me

Countless times... I failed
You'd fine another with more preferable qualities or just completely dismiss me.
It became a constant battle.
But I never gave up hope

There would always be another boy that stood out to me
Maybe it was his voice, his sense of humor, his beliefs
There was always something

And time and time again, I just wasn't good enough.
"What is wrong with me?"
A familiar question that you made me ask.
You all made me doubt and loathe myself.
I tried so hard to be what you wanted.
And I just couldn't succeed.

I was caught between a strong mind and a fragile heart.

Year after year, it was always the same.
Love in my heart was poisoned with pain.
Dark wisps of what once held hope,
snuck into my bed and turned my heart cold.

All the boys that tempt with their smooth words
They use you up, they suck you dry
When they've had their fun they leave on the fly
They pretend to know you, they pretend to care
But they're all hollow, they're never really there.

"Love is a lie."

And at night she cries
She cries. She cries. She cries.

You're gonna catch a cold, with all the ice deep within your soul.

So to all the boys I've ever loved
I wish you the best of luck
You turned down a gem of a girl
Who is finally saying she's had enough
Of broken dreams, lies and tears
Believing she'd find someone near
You've iced her veins, her heart is cold
She won't believe in true love no more

"Who needs a man? "
"Relationships are fake"

She stares at every couple with hate.

"First sight isn't real."
"Marriage is a waste."

I've come to learn they'll never wait.

My heart is cold, hardened throughout the years
Refusing to shed any more tears.
I know my girls are tired of these consistent let downs
We think so highly of "the one" and then it turns around
He pretends we don't exist, avoiding at every cost, he must risk
An empty ghost, I haunt the halls
I float with the shriveled hearts
And thorns of ice in my side.

So to all the boys:

Thank you for breaking me down.
Thank you for taking my heart and turning it inside out.

I conceal mysef in this icy cave, I'll never give my true feelings away
I'm smarter with how I use my words
I know how to make them hurt.

I'm ready to face more of you now.
And this time you'll be the one let down
I know I'm a bitch, you might've thought I was your friend.

But I can't afford to lose again.

It gets black in this little heart of mine.
But somehow I find comfort within the ice.