Beloved

Chapter Four

*Reagan*

I lay the bills on the table, triple counting to ensure I have the correct amount. $13,238. Taking a deep breath, I nod my head. Good. I am in a good place, right now. What is going to be eating away at my money, however, is this motel room.

I need to find permanent housing. Perhaps I can ask Lorelei or Carson if they know of an available apartments. I feel rather disconnected from the world. It used to be so easy. One could find an available apartment at the click of a button.

Now, I'll have to look in a newspaper and ask around. A computer is not a priority, therefore it is not in the budget.

Peeking at the clock, I see that I have thirty five minutes until Carson is supposed to be here. I use the safe appointed with the motel room to stash all but a hundred dollars. I change into an outfit more fit for the farm: jeans, a pink plaid shirt and cowgirl boots. I braid my hair and toss it over my shoulder, scrunching my lips.

One day, I will get used to the color, I think.

I finish getting ready, applying a touch of make-up and after I am done making the bed, I hear tires against the gravel. Gathering my purse and phone, I leave the motel room. I triple check that I lock that door and head towards Carson's truck.

He offers me a friendly smile and I am slow to return it, still trying to get used to the hospitality here in Wyoming. Friendly smiles just aren't a thing in Chicago. If someone makes eye-contact and smiles, you're most likely about to get robbed. Or verbally harassed.

"Good morning!" I chirp.

"Mornin'," Carson replies, a smirk on his lips as he hands me a cup of coffee. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I settled with what I always get: one cream and two sugar." Honestly, that smile melts me.

He has one dimple. One. Not two, identical dimples on either cheek. Just one, on the right cheek that is facing me. So I have full a vantage point of the offending, charming aesthetic. Not only does he have a dimple, but he has wrinkles around his eyes... Like Lorelei.

Those wrinkles were what convinced me to trust her in the first place. What business does Carson have, flashing those around? Soon, I'm going to be laying my soul at his feet... along with my truth.

"Thank you. That was very thoughtful." I don't tell him that I prefer cream only with my coffee. The gesture is sweet, so I sip at it as we drive towards his home.

The silence is a comfortable one, just like yesterday. There is no urge to fill it with conversation. Instead, I am acutely aware of his presence and I am consoled by it.

When we get to his house, I can't help but enjoy the familiarity of it... And not just because I saw it yesterday... It feels as if my heart is coming home.

This little farm is what I have longed for since I was a little girl. I may have forgotten it along the way, but my heart never did.

Carson hops out and hurries over to open the door for me. He really must have been out of it yesterday, to not open my door for me. What was making him so uneasy?

We spend time in the barn, Carson mucking out stalls as I beg him to give me a task. He finally settles with me sweeping the barn's aisle, between the stalls. The barn is larger than one would think for such a small farm. It carries six stalls on either side and only two remain empty. Carson takes care of ten horses, six of which are boarders. He says he has a hired hand, but the man is out because of a family emergency. Therefore, Carson is doing it all on his own.

And he found time to pick me up today...

I watch him as he works hard, trying to stay on task to keep up with his mental schedule.