Always and Forever Little LJ 💌

6

Peter is leaving tomorrow and I've been pushing him away for some reason. Ever since we....you know. He didn't do anything wrong,I just think he was faking it for me. The way he felt or if it was better than Geniveve. Of course it wasn't. Gen is probably a pro,like Peter. It took me so long to be ready for sex and the expectations where so high. Maybe it wasn't as good. We can't change anything that already happened so what's the next step of our relationship? What do we do now? Have sex all the time? Or just go back to how it was and have sex occasionally? My phone rings and interrupts my thoughts. It's kitty. 

"Hey Kitty, what's up!"  "Hey Lara Jean, someone wants to talk to you." She says suspiciously. 

There is a long pause. "Lara Jean?" He says in a tone that's settling, he sounds guilty. It's Lucas.

"And before you hang up on me again, let me explain....please." 

The truth is that I have been ignoring Lucas for the past month. I was hurt that one of my best friends would make a move on my boyfriend.I sigh."You have 3 minutes."

"I don't know why I kissed Peter, I don't know why! Something is just wrong with me, I don't even like him! Please LJ please forgive me. I am so so sorry!

"Yeah, okay." I say half assed , but I really do forgive Lucas. I know he feels really guilty. Beside, I bigger problems, than Lucas.

Lucas goes on and tells me about his new job at as an intern for a photographer. When Lucas hangs up I hear the electric mixer, which means April is baking. It's nice not being the only baker in the house. She's making sea salt caramel brownies, which she asks me to help her with. I'm in charge of making the caramel. Which is super easy to make,surprisingly.  Everyone is in the living room hanging out. Then there is a knock at the door and Stacy answers. "Hey Peter!" Stacy says. I freeze and look up and he is looking at me from across the room. He comes closer to me. "Hey."

I clear my throat and go back to stirring my caramel. "Hey." I can still feel Peter looking at me. "Can we go in your room to talk?" he say quietly. I nod and turn off the stove. Peter sits on my bed. "Did I do something wrong?" I shake my head. "Do you regret it?" I shake my head. He grabs me by my waist and pulls me closer to him. "What is it? Tell me." I take in a deep breath and pull up a chair in front of him. "I've been delaying sex for so long, and build your expectation. I just, I don't know." I look down at the floor lamely. He lifts up my chin softly. "Hey, Hey, Hey. Don't do that, okay.Don't try to ruin the best day of my life okay. I wouldn't change anything okay." I nod. "Okay." He kisses me on my lips, and sends a wave of happiness over me. "What time are you leaving today?" "I'm leaving at nine, I want to go while there is no traffic." "Well, what do you want to do until then?" I ask him. He looks at me shocked. He takes off his shirt faster than lightning.  I laugh, "I wasn't meaning that." "Bullshit. You meant that, or did you just want to see me shirtless." He grins his cocky grin. " Ew, as if." I tease. "Oh yeah." He says while attacking me with tickles. "Stop, Stop! I surrender." I say in between laughs. "Okay fine, have you learned your lesson." I smile and nod. "Good." He says. Then I try to tickle him, but it's no use. As soon as I go to tickle him he pins both of my hands down with one arm and tickles me all over. "Mercy, mercy. Please." I laugh. "I'll be a good girl." I say while reaching for a kiss. He rolls his eyes and then gives me what I want. I begin to kiss him, one after the other. He puts his hands in my hair the way I like, and I let out a soft moan. I kiss Peter hungrily, and then give him one more kiss and I bite his bottom lip and I take off my shirt. Peter takes off my pants, and sucks on my lips. I let out a moan. Then my phone rings, but Peter doesn't stop. "Hey Dad, what's up?" I say breathy. "Are you okay Lara Jean? "Yeah Dad, I'm just coming from a run with Stacy."

"Alright, I was calling to see when your coming for fall break." "Oh!" I say trying not to moan. "I think in nine days." "Okay, I'll let Kitty know. How's Peter?" My heart drops. "Oh he's good, he's really good. I can't wait to see him , and you guys. Dad I have to go, I'll talk to you later. Bye." I throw my phone , If I hadn't I would've finished with my dad on the line. "Fuck." I say under my breath. Then my body shudders, Peter comes up. "Are you okay?" He asks me. "Yeah, your turn." He takes off his pants and boxers in the matter of seconds. I put my hair up in a bun and lick his shaft on the head and the sides and I try to fit the whole thing in my mouth. I gag on it which makes him really close. I jerk him off then he finishes.

"I don't think I can handle anymore." He say. I laugh nervously, "Me either. Maybe we can just watch some movies?" He nods in my chest, and that's how we spend the rest of our day. When Peter leaves I call Chris,  but she didn't answer. We haven't talked in a while. I have to tell her everything about college and Peter. I'll tell her when I go back home for mid-term.  For the rest of the night I read a new romance novel from April and I lay awake thinking about my future with Peter and how lucky I am to be his.