Always and Forever Little LJ 💌

11

Peter looks at me furiously. "Unbelievable. Unbelievable!" He shakes his head and walks away.
I start walking behind him. "Peter. Please let me explain. Peter!" He goes back into the house and walks through the party and my cries for his attention is drowning in techno music. He opens the door and slams it shut, right in my face. I open the door. "Peter. Just wait. Peter!" He opens his car door and before he gets in he says. "Lara Jean, just don't." And at that moment I felt my heart break. He drives off and I'm in the driveway and crying my eyes out, my vision is blurry and my head hurts. Is this the end of us? Did we just break up? Does he not love me anymore? John opens the door and meets me at the sidewalk and sits next me. He puts his hand on my back and rubs it in circles "It's okay Lara Jean." I get furious, I stand up with anger overflowing all over me. "Okay? Okay! How can anything be okay! The love of my life just saw us kissing. He probably doesn't want to see me again because you kissed me!" I cry out.

"Lara Jean, you were the one who said to tell the girl I loved how I felt!"

"Yeah I did, How the hell was I suppose to know it was me! You had no business kissing me. I'm with Peter, and you know that!"

"No- you do not get to blame all of this on me. I do recall, that back there you were not complaining. You, kissed me back! So this wasn't just me. You can blame yourself just as much as you can blame me."

I fall down to my knees, I feel weak. I'm not mad at John. I'm mad at myself, for letting something so good get away for something so little as a kiss. Peter has done nothing but love me and I ruined that. I feel defeated.  "John, can you take me home." My voice creaks and I feel so ashamed.
By the time I get home my eyes are poofy and red. When I open the door I run upstairs to my room and cry myself to sleep. I just want to forget this night ever happened. I want to kiss Peter and assure him that I love him. That it's him, it's only been him. I want to go back to being Lara Jean and Peter.

It's been two days since the party and it's killing me. Not talking to him for two days is harder then I thought. I feel so disappointed and ashamed. I've been texting and calling Peter constantly but surprisingly he's not answering. Today I decide to finally get out of my room. I haven't left it since. Kitty brings me food and I've been watching sad movies and overthinking everything. They still don't know what happened. I've been closed lip about it and they've been really supportive when it come to my privacy. Im deciding not to be upset because I'm going to win Peter back. This is not the end of us. Our story doesn't end this way. We are not going to end like this, our love is stronger than this. I take a shower and head downstairs and I act as if nothing is wrong. I'm going to bake him something. What says 'I'm sorry that I kissed another guy but i still love ya'. I've been staring at the cupboard for 10 minutes now. I have no idea what I'm going to do. What I'm going to say or what I'm going to bake. "Lara Jean....what are you doing." Kitty asks.
"I'm trying to bake something for Peter so we can get back together because he kinda saw me and John kissing and he won't talk to me. So what should I bake him?
"You kissed John!"
"Yes Kitty. Try to keep up. I really regret it so what should I bake so he will talk to me."
"No way am I helping you with this. I'm on team Peter."
"Kitty!" I say.
She shrugs and walks away.
I decide to bake him some shortbread cookies.

I drive to his house and I'm about to knock on the door when Miss Kavinksy opens the door.. "Hello Lara Jean how are you."
"Hi Miss Kavinsky I'm good. Is Peter around?" I ask her hoping that she doesn't know what happened.
She nods her head. "He's right upstairs."
I go upstairs and I knock on his door. "Come In!" He shouts out. I open the door.
"Hey."
He looks down at his hands. "Hey."